Bullshit and BullshittersWe've had questions about lies and liars in the past, but this time we're asking about the sort of fantasist who constantly claims they've got a helicopter in the garden or was "second onto the balcony at the Iranian Embassy siege". Tell us about the cobblers you've been told, or the complete lies you've come out with.
Thanks to dozer for the suggestion
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:55)
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Granddad and the hole in his skullGrampy Smegington was a bit of a fibber. He told me that once an astronaut farted and the resulting increase in pressure inside his space suit (?) caused him to become detached from his air-tube, the only thing connecting him to the space shuttle. He went into orbit and sometimes his suit is visible to the naked eye as he passes over. Now that one's over, on to the grizzly shizzle.
He had a jaffa cake-sized portion of his skull missing (true, I felt it) which he claimed to be a war wound. However, my Dad told me he was discharged from the front as soon as the first nearby shell was fired. Why? Because it turned out there was a large hole in his skull making him sensitive to loud noises and causing him to pass out every time a gun was fired (cap guns aren't loud enough, I tried).
So where did Granddad's mystery hole come from? The acceptable story the family stuck to was that as a child in India (his parents were colonial types) the family home was attacked by guerilla fighters, and as his father fled with him in his arms a stray bullet just caught the top of his head but he survived.
The 'true' version is a little darker, but more likely. Apparently his mother was a severely paranoid schizophrenic, and, convinced he was an utterly evil baby and instrument of Satan, took a hunting rifle and shot him in the head while he slept.
She must have been in a state to miss an easy shot like that. What's the saying? 'Easy as shooting a sleeping baby in the head', or something.
But still to this day, I wonder if the 'real' version of events is actually true, I've only been told this by my Dad and he is, after all, his father's son.
Bit of a weird thing to invent for the sake of it though.
(, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 22:38, 1 reply)
WellThere is the whole recoil factor to take into account. I missed a target ten feet away with a shotgun twice because of it. An untrained person with gun is significantly less accurate towards a small, close range target than they seem. Also, if you shot a baby and only wounded it, would you have the grit to finish the job? I doubt it.
I think the "true" version is at least a bit believable.
(, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 23:37, closed)
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