Bullshit and BullshittersWe've had questions about lies and liars in the past, but this time we're asking about the sort of fantasist who constantly claims they've got a helicopter in the garden or was "second onto the balcony at the Iranian Embassy siege". Tell us about the cobblers you've been told, or the complete lies you've come out with.
Thanks to dozer for the suggestion
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:55)
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'Two Sheds'For years, I've known this guy who has just a touch of the creepy stalker about him. His heart's in the right place, he's just woefully lacking in social skills.
I could go on for ages about him and his oddness and tall stories, but one of his best best BEST chunks of bullshitteriness came a few years ago.
'Two Sheds' mentioned one night that he had had a dalliance with an Italian girl, and had fallen in love. There is someone for everyone, so this wasn't all that remarkable. The tragedy, he explained, was that she was connected to a Mafia family. (At this point, anyone who knows him would have quietly activited their incredulity filter because none of us wanted to burst his fabricated bubbles.)
Why tragedy? Because he, 'Two Sheds', had sired a child with this young Mafia beauty, something he only found out about via a friend of a friend long after he'd been warned off the girl by her family on pain of painful death.
"So," he'd tell us, "I have to live with knowing I have a son I'll never see, and knowing that he'll never know anything about me."
Sad story, maybe bullshit, but could happen.
Years later, 'Two Sheds' marries after a whirlwind romance. Aww. They decide to start a family. They can't. They have tests. 'Two Sheds' has, it transpires, a genetic condition which means he has never ever ever been able to produce viable sperm.
Even if that Mafia child exists - it's not his.
(, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 12:32, Reply)
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