Shameless pearoast on this the darkest of days
I met the current Mrs Milo on one of Ken's finest innovations, the London night bus. It was about 2am on a Saturday morning and I'd staggered on around Tottenham Court Rd after a Friday night spent in various less than salubrius Soho establishments.

I sat down next to this attractive petite brunette but the only thing I really noticed was that she was reading a book as that was a bit odd for that time of night even in London.

Anyway we got as far as Camden and a couple of wasted Camdenites (trilbys, skinny jeans etc) got on with their Maccy Ds and started talking loudly about Razorlight or some such while playing something similarly crap on their phones at full blast.

At the start I thought it was quite amusing as they were so pissed they were struggling to stand. But then one fell completely arse over tit and deposited the majority of his coke in my lap.

I was pretty pissed by this, but stayed sitting and conveyed my disgust verbally in a suitably sarcastic fashion. He however jumped up spitting obscenities in my face.

Before I could react, the girl next to me got up pushed him backwards while yelling something along the lines of "Why don't you just fuck off? You're dressed like a cunt and noone gives a monkey's fuck about your shite music!"

He looked a bit stunned by this. Then stepped forwards like he was going to start something further. However she curtailed this by punching him in the nuts (I've since found out she's been doing jujitsu since she was 15, whether this was a regulation move I don't know).

Wisely he left it at this and him and his mate got off rather sheepishly a couple of stops later.

This was quite a good ice breaker so we started chatting and it turned out she lived just a couple of stops before me. We exchanged numbers and it went from there.

I'm still shit scared of her, but that's by the bye.





To end on a topical note...

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Alex Ferguson?

Ferguson will still be able to play Giggs in august.......
(Milo Minderbinder, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:57, 5 replies)

read this one before,
still an awesome ladyfriend-meeting story second time round!

incidentally, current reports are saying that michael jackson did not in fact have a heart attack at the hospital as previously suggested, we was actually found in the children's ward having a stroke.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:14, closed)

Turns out it was an allergic reaction.
They found some seven year old nuts in his mouth.
(Scritty Bakerman., Sun 28 Jun 2009, 15:06, closed)

That nut-punch sounds very Ju-Jitsu to me.
It's not a properly recognised technique with a Japanese name and everything, but it is certainly within the spirit of the art, especially from the women.
(Mr._Pickles, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:16, closed)

.
Salubrious.
( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:43, closed)

Cool "how I met a slick chica" story
Shame these things never seem to happen to me...ah well.
(RVD420 has his world coming down on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:23, closed)