Every morning without fail...
I would get on the same bus, at the same time, at the same stop. As i lived on the early stretch of the bus route I would often be priveliged enough to pretty much have the pick of the bus seats. A few stops down on my way to work a young mum would always get on with her two kids. Now darling angels these weren't. The mum was the sort of girl who wouldn't be allowed on the Jeremy Kyle show for fear of making the show come accross a bit rough, and the kids were absolutely vile with all bits of a weeks worth of shitty dinners all in they're hair and faces.

Anyhooo... I digest.

As i mentioned... It would quite often be myself and perhaps one or two other passengers in the bus when this trio of trogs would step aboard, and every day, without fail, no matter where I sat, they'd take the seat in front of me.

Also, every day, without fail, the darlings would have their breakfast on the bus. this comprised of a bag each of cool original doritos, a kit-kat and a robinsons purple flavour fruit shoot. Balanced!

And so it came to pass that at 7:45 every morning, I had my senses defiled by these two little kids, kneeling on their seat staring straight at me, schmacking and chomping open mouthed with little regard for food order. A little fist full of the smelliest crisps in the world. 2 chews. A bite of kit-kat. 3 chews. a mouthfull of purple stuff. more chewing. this was often follwed by choking and coughing and generally spraying the back of the seat and the guy sat behind (horsie) with bits of soggy half chewed half saturatd bits of doritoey-kit-katy mulch.

delightful.

As is often the case with with 'couldn't-care-less' mum's. The mum couldn't care less. One day the little girl (aged about 5 or so), getting frustrated with her younger brother shouted 'F*ck off you F8ckin C@nt!!' Being english the whole bus looked straight into their laps and pretended that it's perfecly normal for 5 year old to speak like that. The mum just laughed at the comment and asked in a sing-song cooey baby voice 'Did you learn that from your dad??'

Before you ask why I never sat right at teh front so as to avoid them taking the seat in front of me. These were designated for elderly/infirm/wheelers.

this post is not funny, nor entertaining. I just needed to get thiss of my chest.

Length... every weekday for two and a half years. *hangs head in shame*
(horsethroat chewing on life's gristle on, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:49, 4 replies)

why didn't you just move once they'd got on?
also, it's digress not digest

and "it would quite often be myself and perhaps one or two other passengers and I"

or even "me and one or two other passengers"

people who say myself and yourself at the wrong times sound like fucking idiots

that crap aside. that sounds shit. I fucking hate that sort of scum
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:25, closed)

Also
priveliged - privileged
accross - across
schmacking - smacking
saturatd - saturated
'F*ck off you F8ckin C@nt!!' - Oh where to start here?
thiss - this

This post clearly needs more Honda Accord to prove your rage.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:58, closed)

Simple test
The key to determining whether to use me, myself or I in a sentence like this is to remove the other people and see if it still makes sense. So here it should be "me and the other passengers".
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:58, closed)

What should De La Soul have used?
??

This is quite clever and I shall use this rule/method in future, to not make horrendous social faux-pas!
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:25, closed)