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This is a question Call Centres

Dreadful pits of hellish torture for both customer and the people who work there. Press 1 to leave an amusing story, press 2 for us to send you a lunchbox full of turds.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 12:20)
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TalkTalk and Roger fucking McGough - now with example wankstain poem!
I've had my fair share of call centre-related run-ins, as the unfortunate person at either end of the phone.

I've had to cold call people to try and get them to make a charity donation - starting at 9am on weekends no less, a genius strategy(!)

I dodged a bullet and ended up not working for Sky at one of their call centres, mostly because it took them until 6 months after I aced the interview process to finally ring up to offer me a start date.

I've spent hours at a time on hold with card authorisation companies whilst working for a bank, listening to the same 60 second clip of U2 that, to this very day, causes me to wake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.

And of course I've had to pit my wits against a steady stream of young fellows with names such as Sebastian and Alexander who, despite their reasonably-plummy sounding names, have an inexplicably strong Delhi accent along with a questionable grasp of the Queen's English.

However, despite this already burgeoning litany of shame, there is one thing about call centres that stands out above all other as being particularly soul-destroying and that is having to call TalkTalk.
Not only can you spend upwards of 90 minutes on hold on a bad day but the had the genius idea of replacing their hold music with poetry. Not just any poetry mind, but the primary school stylings of Roger McGough no less.

Now I cannot comment on the experiences of the Guarbian's journalistic staff but having spent in excess of an hour listening to the same collection of literary 'droppings' on a loop, I can tell you dear reader that the only thing more likely to inspire bloodlust than having to listen to the cruel and unusual, 'it's not poetry unless it rhymes' style of prose for interminable lengths of time is the knowledge that the smug, talentless twat whose voice you are listening to a recording of almost certainly earned more for this than you yourself are likely to do in at least a couple of years.

In case you doubt how bad his work is, this is just one of the 'gems' you'll encounter when waiting for some guy in Bangladesh or wherever to tell you to try unplugging your router and plugging it in again.

My only hope is that Karma has my back and that Mr McGough is a TalkTalk customer...

I suppose I'm due a length gag now.
All the way round at least 6 times, if you believe what you read in the papers.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 21:31, 3 replies)
Barclays - Beautiful Day
Been there! :)
(, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 23:20, closed)

It was Beautiful Day, yeah.
No idea if it was Barclays or not though.

Apparently before I joined, the choice of song changed about once a fortnight, after I joined it never changed again.
(, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 23:43, closed)
Roger McGough.
The man is a prime example that not everything since the beatles is cultural gold just because it has a scouse accent/slant attached to it. Are you listening to me Jimmy McGovern!
(, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 16:32, closed)

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