Someone trying to sell me the Daily Mail
It's an old story, but it bears re-telling:

One night, I'm sitting by my PC when the phone rings. So I answer and it goes like this...

Caller: "Is that Mr [Whippity]?"

Me: "Yes."

Caller: "Hello, Mr [Whippity], I'm calling from the 'Daily Mail'. Do you read a newspaper?"

Me: "Very rarely, and if I do, it's 'The Guardian'."

Caller: "You may be interested to know that the 'Daily Mail' are doing a special half-price offer for a fortnight in your area. It will be supported by local newsagents so they'll deliver it to you, and you'll have 14 days papers for the price of seven."

Me: "I'll stop you there. I know you're only doing your job, but I'd rather stick pins in my genitals than read the 'Daily Mail'."

Caller: "Oh well, I'll let you get back to that then." [click]

From that night, I've been in love with whoever she was who called me. I was left holding the phone thinking "You're wonderful".

So - if you're reading this, Daily-Mail-selling lady, get in touch. I promise there'll be no pin-sticking involved.
(uncle whippity, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:18, 1 reply)

Good one
Not long after reading the full story of the Brent Spar oil rig, I got a call from Greenpeace soliciting funds. I told them something about a mile of broken glass. Have never heard from them again.
(Redemption blamed it on the Bossa Nova since, Sat 5 Sep 2009, 14:13, closed)