Jack of All Trades
Master of none.

I had the misfortune of having to deal with someone phoning the landline again...I now ignore the thing. If its someone I know they will phone my mobile..

The conversation went roughly thus:

ME:Hello
JOAT:Hello sir who provides your mortgage?

ME: None of your business, plus I have just signed up to a 5 year fixed rate and am tied in..

JOAT:Okay sir, May I ask who provides your mobile phone?

ME:Its Orange for the record mate, but it's a work issued phone so I have nothing to do with the contract.

JOAT: Okay sir, not a problem. Now can you tell me how old approximately are your windows and doors?

ME: 3 years exactly mate. I fitted them myself.

JOAT: Okay sir and finally, who provides your gas and electricity?
ME:sigh The planet Earth.


JOAT: Eh????

ME: Yeah, I believe natural gas is pumped from vast underground chambers. My electricity is from coal fired generators probably. It all comes from the earth tho. Some believe that the amount of electricity we have in our solar system is actually fixed and as oppose to generating it were merely harnessing it. A bit like the the notion that nothing ever really disappears it just changes form...

JOAT:click

Reading that back makes me seem like a bit of a twat but it was probably the only time I have thought of anything witty enough on the spot.
Oh, and I didn't fit my own windows. The nice people from the window company did.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 15:59, Reply)