Pearoast
For my sins I used to do 2nd/3rd line support for a shitload of councils - until they fired me for blogging and calling a server droid an incompetent fuckwit.

But, working there gave me a lot of interesting stories, a few of which I'll share with you. The first one is Bird Flu.

I'm sure you can all remember the scares about Bird Flu a year or so ago but I bet you've no idea how many mongs used to phone their local council about it. As the calls were recorded I got to listen to some of the more bizarre ones. This is one of my favourites.

Fuckwit: "I'd like to report a case of bird flu"

Op: "Yes sir - can you give me the details"

Fuckwit: "Well I was cleaning out my budgies cage and it sneezed. It's got bird flu. I've put it in the garden and I want someone to come round and take it away."

Op: "Sir - just because your budgie sneezed doesn't mean it's got Bird flu. It just means your budgie sneezed"

Fuckwit: "You don't understand. It's now fallen off it's perch and is lying upside down in it's cage"

OP: "Sir - it's minus five outside. I'm not surprised that it's fallen off it's perch"



Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sat 5 Sep 2009, 2:41, 4 replies)

Was it nailed there?
Did he put four thousand volts through it?
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sat 5 Sep 2009, 3:29, closed)

'Fraid
it was a budgie - not a Norwegian Blue. But it did have beautiful plumage......


Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sat 5 Sep 2009, 6:18, closed)

Legless...
... I never know where the truth in your stories ends and the creativity begins. I just know it's somewhere in the land of awesome.
(FleetlordVT, Sat 5 Sep 2009, 10:42, closed)

As I've
said before, they're all mainly true.

There's some tales from this particular period in my life that I'll just never write. Nobody would ever believe them but they, honest-to-God happened.

That, and if they got back to the wrong people, marriages would end.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sat 5 Sep 2009, 11:38, closed)