Insane Grandad Behind The Wheel
A few years back my friend Iain and I were flogging t-shirts up at the Skye music festival. Iain's grandad is a wealthy old bugger and has a couple of houses there so he invited us out for a few drinks one afternoon and then lunch at his abode.

After a few drinks at an outrageously posh manor/club/bar (complete with French barman) we stumbled out to the car suitably bleary. Iain had previously warned me about his grandad's driving, having totaled a car in the last year on Skye's snaking country roads.

Despite having daft money his grandad drove a tiny Japanese car, like a wee Hot Wheels thing for pensioners. It's worth pointing out at this stage as well that Iain's papa is profoundly deaf, in his early 80's and prone to falling asleep whenever he gets seated comfortably.

Anyway, we were bundled in the back of the silly mobile and off we went. It was a couple of minutes into the journey that I realised that Iain's auld paw was a speed demon, proper. As the speedo steadily escalated up to 80 and beyond Iain kept throwing me little glances as if to say, "What is he like, he's some turn!"

I remember he peaked at 115 mph, took his hands off the wheel and started raking about in the glove box for sunglasses. The car started drifting into the middle of the road and casual as you like the old bugger put his shades on and pulled back into the lane as if he was some Hollywood badass.

Needless to say that if Iain and I weren't half cut we would have easily filled that tiny motor up to the sunroof with shite.
(Pat Shatner ,in it for the buzz, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:50, Reply)