Cars
"Here in my car", said 80s pop hero Gary Numan, "I feel safest of all". He obviously never shared the same stretch of road as me, then. Automotive tales of mirth and woe, please.
( , Thu 22 Apr 2010, 12:34)
"Here in my car", said 80s pop hero Gary Numan, "I feel safest of all". He obviously never shared the same stretch of road as me, then. Automotive tales of mirth and woe, please.
( , Thu 22 Apr 2010, 12:34)
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Multi-story car parks
Now, in a built up city like Birmingham, there's hardly enough room to swing a cat at street level, let alone fit in a ground level car park for all those Chelsea tractors, the solution obviously being to build multi-story car parks. I, like most of my friends, utterly refuse to park in them unless totally necessary: They're tight, dangerous, ill looked after and generally a bitch to drive through.
Except for one. This one, it was determined, you needed to park right at the top, facing the exit ramp. Due to the drainage facilities being non existent, the roof was on a slight gradient, to stop huge lakes of rain water. This, combined with the tight concentric ramps to exit meant that, come leaving, if you just took the handbrake off, coasted in neutral down the first ramp them put full steering lock on, you could just roll all the way down this 5 story car park, with no need for brakes, gears, steering, anything; it was hilarious.
By the time you reached the main exit, it was easy enough to kick the car into third, and just pull straight out and continue on with your day, regardless of the 5mph speed limits. I think this went on sparsely for about 2 months, until, one fateful day, we came rolling out of the car park and *flash*. Some armor plated, stainless steel CCTV camera, so freshly installed the concrete has yet to dry, collars us. 2 days later, £60 speeding fine. Was the camera solely for our benefit? Who knows...
( , Thu 22 Apr 2010, 15:02, Reply)
Now, in a built up city like Birmingham, there's hardly enough room to swing a cat at street level, let alone fit in a ground level car park for all those Chelsea tractors, the solution obviously being to build multi-story car parks. I, like most of my friends, utterly refuse to park in them unless totally necessary: They're tight, dangerous, ill looked after and generally a bitch to drive through.
Except for one. This one, it was determined, you needed to park right at the top, facing the exit ramp. Due to the drainage facilities being non existent, the roof was on a slight gradient, to stop huge lakes of rain water. This, combined with the tight concentric ramps to exit meant that, come leaving, if you just took the handbrake off, coasted in neutral down the first ramp them put full steering lock on, you could just roll all the way down this 5 story car park, with no need for brakes, gears, steering, anything; it was hilarious.
By the time you reached the main exit, it was easy enough to kick the car into third, and just pull straight out and continue on with your day, regardless of the 5mph speed limits. I think this went on sparsely for about 2 months, until, one fateful day, we came rolling out of the car park and *flash*. Some armor plated, stainless steel CCTV camera, so freshly installed the concrete has yet to dry, collars us. 2 days later, £60 speeding fine. Was the camera solely for our benefit? Who knows...
( , Thu 22 Apr 2010, 15:02, Reply)
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