My only car crash.
Driving home from Wales - My good friend Tim (real name) was fairly new to driving, but that didn't explain the moment of madness when he floored it coming off the motorway onto a left turn sliproad.

Time did indeed slow down and the conversation was thus:

Me: 'You're going a bit fast aren't ya?'

Tim: 'Erm?'

Me: 'Tim?'

Tim: 'I can't slow down!'

Me: 'Tim put the fucking brakes on!'

Me and Tim: 'Arrrgh'

The car amazingly avoided TWO concrete ballards and a tree stump, we came off the bend onto some grass, hurtled up a slope and skidded for about sixty feet onto some grass and stopped inches away from a large metallic post.

Only when i got out (after much swearing) to check on the damage, did i realise we had stopped UNDER a cctv tower with cameras pointing in four directions. I quickly checked that the car wasn't fucked and went over to see if Tim was okay.

Me: 'Tim what in the name of shitting Crikey did you do that for?'

Tim: 'Sorry i was having a day dream!'

This was almost too much to deal with. The crash, the shouting, the huge skid, the casual nature of my driver and potential killer and the almost certainty of being arrested withing seconds, considering we had ALMOST destroyed a very expensive looking CCTV tower.

THEN... A metallic voice to my left shouted 'Can you get off the forecourt please!'

What the hell? I looked around and for the first time noticed that we were literally thirty meters away from a very busy looking petrol station with dozens of witnesses of us crashing through the undergrowth , up a slope and amazingly not dying.

We sheepishly got back in the car, reversed a bit and then drove off.

Not my finest moment.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 21:02, Reply)