I don't like cars
So I did not have a driving license for years until my late thirties. What finally folded me into getting a license was my new toy.

I was out with the boyfriend and wanted a new mountain bike, I was looking at a Kona Stinky in the bike shop, but the sales assistant had an attitude problem that meant that he was being disinterested and rude. The bike was £1200 and I wanted it, but the assistant was pissing me off. So I walked out in disgust and crossed over the road (Multey Plain in Plymouth) and walked in to Damerrals, the motorcycle dealer.

I had no way of riding a bike out of there and was only looking out of interest. While at Uni I had put a poster of the Fox Eye Fireblade on my wall because it was a beautiful bike, I did kind of like motorbikes too.

Then I saw her, an immaculate condition four year old Suzuki SV650S K3. I paid the man a fifty pound deposit and then asked him how I went about riding it home... Ahh, I need training! He asked me when I got my license and I looked sheepish.

So I applied for my license and started my training course and promptly parked my training bike into the back of my instructor! Cue laying on the road and crying like a five year old. The Sports bike then felt like a distant dream, but I visited the shop every week and sat on it dreaming the dream.

Finally I met the wife and she was a biker and bike instructor. She trained me up and bought me a little Honda CG125 to train on. I spent two years on that Little Honda and she rode the Suzuki, after she collected it from the shop for me. Our first ride on the Suzuki was amazing. Carol is a Kawasaki girl at heart, so little weeny Suzuki was not going to impress her. However, after a short trip up the motorway and seeing what the bike could do, she was grinning from ear to ear, she still likes our Suzuki.

Anyway, after a lot of training and a slow increase in my confidence, Carol told me I was ready for my tests. She took me to the test centre and sat there waiting while I was out and about with the examiner. I was convinced I had failed after a silly mistake and so just chilled out and enjoyed the ride, at least I could get the feel for what a test would be like for next time when I could pass.

Once back at the test centre Carol saw me and gave me the look, I shook my head no and she looked a little sad for me. The the Examiner came in and asked me to close the door. Carol and I waited for his explanation of my failure.

"Now then Mrs Flakes, I would like to congratulate you on passing your bike test. You had two minor faults, but with practice you will be fine!"

I was more proud of passing my Bike test than I was graduating from University.

That was two weeks ago, the Suzuki is booked in for her MOT today and if she passes, my Insurance covers me as of tomorrow morning. I have waited two and a half years to ride my Suzuki SV650S and fingers crossed, tomorrow will be the day.

The wife wants me to learn to drive the car next, but I don't like cars. I get Car sick all the time...
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:35, 18 replies)

Congratulations - I bet you'll have a big smile on your face after your first ride.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:47, closed)

Good on ya!
For wheels good, two wheels gooder!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:50, closed)

Don't forget to carry an organ donor card

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:51, closed)

Yes
In case some bell end in a tin box doesn't see you
( Greenbat, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 10:46, closed)

Or vice versa
the people over the road were reversing out of their drive late one night, along came two chaps on a bike at around 50mph

the next day, doing my paper round, I found some bits of one of the chaps still scattered on the pavement because the ambulance crews missed them in the dark

picking up severed toes is not fun, especially when you know the person they belonged to is now on a slab in a freezer
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 12:28, closed)

Well, either
Some fool was reversing onto a 50 limit road, which is a bit dangerous. Imagine if it had been a wagon.

Or two fools were doing 50 in a 30 limit street, which is also very stupid.

The vehicle type doesn't really come into it. There are dickheads on 2, 3, 4, 6 and 8 wheels, doesn't mean they all are.
( Greenbat, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 13:36, closed)

It's a 30mph stretch of a main road, residential both sides
the guys on the bike were going too fast, and became instant organ donors

...but if they'd have been in a car they'd probably have been all right and I wouldn't have had to find their appendages strewn all over the pavement

just trying to point out that it's better to be a "bellend in a tin box" than a twat on a motorbike, because there's a far better chance of you living to learn from your experiences

seriously, my best mate has (at 30) gone out and bought a motorbike and I'm so fucking mad at him because of it
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 14:01, closed)

If they'd been in a car...
... they probably wouldn't have had time to get up to 50mph on a residential road. This would have worked out a lot better for them, though given that they were idiots it's better for the human race that they're no longer around.

However, car drivers are generally far worse motorists than motorcyclists. They are, on the other hand, much better than black cab drivers and white van men.
(MJPerry was crude but clickable at, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 17:57, closed)

OK
So two pillocks got the inevitable outcome of their actions. Doesn't mean we all act like that. It'd be like saying all gays are like Peter Mandelson. Regards the safety, well its our choice. No different to extreme sports really.
I live on a road in the peak district very popular with bikes. Most are OK, but we do suffer the plastic rocket cretins who think it is a racetrack. From about now til autumn there's usually an accident every weekend. Pisses me off that those of us who try to be safe and sensible get tarred with the same brush. (As a handy guide, a 50cc twist n go ped or a plastic covered race replica plus matching power ranger suit usually indicate a complete nob).
( Greenbat, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 22:32, closed)

My uncle's won countless trophies in motorbike trials, motorcross and the like
His entire life has been motorbike-related, he's ridden his all the way across Europe and beyond and when I was a kid he used to pick me up, put me on the petrol tank and pull wheelies the length of the field while my mum had heart palpitations. In short, he's the most experienced and capable rider I know, yet it only took one car to pull out when he wasn't expecting it and he spent a year in traction with steel pins through all of his leg bones.

I'm not saying that all motorbike riders are irresponsible or whatever, I'm just trying to point out that what would be a minor bump in a "tin box" is a devastating and life-threatening disaster on a motorbike. I used to ride a Yamaha TY175 back in the day, but now I've seen enough accidents that nothing would tempt me back on it. It's not a question of an individual's "skill" on a bike, it's the fact that there's no accounting for other drivers who can and will put your life at risk.

So don't get me wrong - I'm not saying bikers are reckless, I'm just saying that bikes are deathtraps, which statistically, they are.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:49, closed)

Weh-hey
epic :D
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 9:43, closed)

FUCKING YES!!!
Nice one, just in time for summer too. Good choice of L plater too-my CG is still unkillable, despite looking like I pulled it out a skip. By a curious coincidence, about 2 weeks ago my project bike finally passed its MOT after nearly 2 1/2 years work. I've been very gently (still running it in) trundling round on it with a massive grin :D
You likely to come to Matlock Bath? I live just over the hill
( Greenbat, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 9:49, closed)

My CG also looks like a heap
but it has heart and soul and is an awesome little bike.
I have not been up to your part of the country in ages, used to do a lot of hard climbing around there. These days stuck in the South West.
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 21:03, closed)

Well give me a shout if you do come up
I'll demonstrate some of our wonderful roads and transport cafes :D
( Greenbat, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 22:33, closed)

SV's fun!
Restricted or full D.A.S? Lots of grunt you'll love it I promise.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 10:12, closed)

Passed MOT- Yay
Now hoping for first ride tomorrow morning, over to see our Nan, who will no doubt think we are insane.

I took my test on a 125cc machine, so the SV is restricted via a nice ECU from E-Bay. I have two years on her like that and then put the full power ECU back. Just in time to turn 40!
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 21:07, closed)

Good choice
33bhp is plenty for learning on. I've just come out my restriction, having been riding a 1976 honda CB400/4. Great little bike. Unfortunately its the chavs who do a DAR then buy an R1 or similar that make us all look bad.
( Greenbat, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 22:37, closed)

cycle scene.....
twunts....should still have got the kona though..
(norfolkngood, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 21:23, closed)