A snowy tale
550 words, in the reply.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 11:44, 9 replies)

It was the third week of February 2005
and it had snowed the day before, but here in Hull it had melted within about 24 hours and the roads were dry. Mrs SLVA was out, the kids were at school and I was home alone and bored. So I thought I might have a drive inland to see if there was any snow, if so I was going to park up and take some scenic pictures. I headed towards Pocklington.

Into Pocklington, I saw a sign telling me of a scenic drive through Millington Pastures. That sounded good, so off I went, onto what become a single track road. Shit, thought I as I realised that such a tiny country lane would be nigh on impassable for my beat up old Ford Escort. But no, someone had been through with a snowplough and cleared it all. I stopped every so often and took some pics before realising I desperately needed a piss.

I pulled over at the side here maps.google.co.uk/?ie=UTF8&ll=53.965686,-0.722812&spn=0.003206,0.006856&t=h&z=17 , hoping no one would come past now as they'd never get through what with the snow piled up either side. There was a sort of entrance to a field with a gate and I headed towards that. There was a slight incline to the gate and I was already in the process of getting my cock out when I slipped. I put my hand down to stop myself face-planting. The snow looked about 3 inches deep and I expected a cold wet hand. No, the snow wasn't very deep at all, but the sloppy mud underneath was and my fingers sunk in. I managed to stand up but by now I was pissing like a horse and I slipped again, this time landing on both hands. Fortunately no one came past to see what looked like me doing press-ups with my cock out fucking a patch of yellow snow.

I finished peeing, scrambled to my feet and began to put myself away again. It then dawned on me that my hands were muddy and I had got it onto my todger. I used a bit of snow to clean my hands and then tried to clean my penis the same way but it was cold. Very cold. Absolutely bastard freezing truth be told. "Fuck that" I thought, put myself away, zipped up and went back to the car where I pictured what I must have looked like to a passer-by and giggled like a loon.

I'd lost interest by now and wanted to get cleaned up properly so I drove home, every so often hitting a patch of snow that made my car skitter sideways in the most alarming manner.

By the time I got in, Mrs Sandettie was home and was laying on the bed reading. I went upstairs, said hello and opened the wardrobe next to the bed to get some clean jeans out. I undid my jeans and took them off. She'd been feeling a bit horny when she'd come in and seeing me in my boxers she thought she'd fruit me up. She pulled my pants down and just as I remembered what had happened earlier, she uttered the line;

"Sandettie, why is your cock all brown?"
"Err, well, funny you should ask that..."
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 11:45, closed)

you could fit those words in the first post,
i do not understand why it is in the reply,
still it is still too long for me to bother reading
love
ssg
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 12:03, closed)

I can never understand
why people feel the need to reply with "it was too long to read", or TLDR even.

Also if I post over a certain length, I don't like posting it on the actual page because I think a large block of text puts some people off, but they're more likely to read it in the reply.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 12:27, closed)

Do you get sucked off in every one of your stories?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 12:30, closed)

I didn't get sucked off, I was muddy.
Besides, it doesn't happen very often but when it does it's in unusual situations, she's good at it and I just like to boast.

Come on though, you've been on here for donkeys' years, you should know that people go for porn or sentimental stories. Know your audience I say.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 12:39, closed)

Virgin!

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 12:15, closed)

RyanAir!

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 12:30, closed)

iLike.

(Archeleus hates cabbage, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 12:19, closed)

iClicked.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 12:58, closed)