The first day after I'd passed
my driving test, I hit a rather large pheasant. Not on purpose, but they really are stupid birds; rather than move out the way of oncoming cars, they try to outrun them, looking over their shoulders every now and then to see if they are getting away. The inevitable always happens.
I checked my rear view mirror to see if it had survived, but I couldn't see it in the road. I assumed that I'd merely clipped it and it had run off. I got home and parked up, and when I got out of the car, the reason why I hadn't seen the pheasant lying it the road was clear. It was hanging out of the grill on the front of the car, like a mass of feathery bagpipes. I had to scoop it out with a stick.

I also like doing shuttle runs on pelican crossings to annoy people in their cars.
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 14:50, 4 replies)

Similar tale
I remember my Uncle (about 30 years go!!) in his ex Water Board Mini van arriving with about 7 bluebirds in a row across his grill!!

Its strange how these memories stick!!

I also remember at school the minibus hitting a very large badger!!!
(the_icks has the sweet essence of giraffe, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 14:57, closed)

I lived on an Indian reservation in South Dakota
I killed more pheasant with my truck's windshield than I ever did with my 12 gauge.
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 15:27, closed)

You didn't live in south Norfolk at the time did you? I was with my friend when he saw someone he knew stopped on the side of the road looking in horror at the front of his car.

Turns out that this guy had hit a pheasant and it had some how gone through the grill and apparently expanded on impact meaning it was too big to get out easily again.

You could smell it cooking gently on the radiator too.

We laughed at him and drove off. If that was you I apologise for not stopping but frankly it looked a fucking mess and there was no way we were getting involved.
(Shifty weeeee, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 17:23, closed)

similar thing happened to me.
Carried on 100 miles. Stopped at a petrol station. Was getting funny looks. Only when i was walking back to my car i was like OOOOH MY GOD! with a huge bird hanging out of the front grill.

Thankfully being a petrol station there was gloves to hand. So had to scoop the huge cooked mangled bird out of the front grill.

I never found its head though.
(Miggyman, Sat 24 Apr 2010, 10:03, closed)