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"Here in my car", said 80s pop hero Gary Numan, "I feel safest of all". He obviously never shared the same stretch of road as me, then. Automotive tales of mirth and woe, please.

(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 12:34)
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my first car
that i had when i was at school was a 1970's beetle that was older than i was, and fuck it was cool. but unfortunately for my poor dad it was one thing after another. the clutch went, then the battery went (to be fair, when the AA man dug it out from under the rear seat cushion [of all obscure places] it said replace by 1982... this was 1996), then the accelerator cable stuck on, then it failed its MOT in a million different ways. so dad snapped after a year and part-ex'd it for a fiesta.

my next car was when i was a letting agent, had the registration 1 LET. i was gutted on coming out after a viewing in a less than salubrious part of manchester (the prospective tenant said "forget it, i'd need a fucking gun to live here) to find someone had been at it and it now read TO1LET.

i also wrote my dad's car off when i was about 18, and being me, it wasn't the usual bump that most people have, oh no. i decided to go for it with a 1 week old luxury car at 90mph on the m56, with all 4 of us in it. the car was a total write off. how the hell we all walked away without even a scratch is still a mystery. and i still have nightmares about it. you have no idea how fast 90mph actually is until you are doing it sideways, skewing helplessly across 3 lanes of speeding traffic in the rain and the dark!

my new car is my massive treat to myself, it costs a stupid amount every month, but i love driving even in london (esp now it is actually sunny enough to put the top down) and i do drive a lot, which is how i justify it. however. i was thoroughly fucked off this morning, given that i only spent £25 having it properly valeted last weekend, to find that the bastard dirty pigeons have been holding what can only be described as scat parties all over it. i am taking it back via the valet place on my way home from work, and i think he might actually kill me... fucking purple berry eating bastards. where do they even FIND purple berries in central london? waitrose??
(, Sat 24 Apr 2010, 15:36, 6 replies)
Blimey, Rocky, life is hard on you.
- treat yourself to some croissants while you're waiting for the valet to clean your car.
(, Sat 24 Apr 2010, 15:55, closed)
ha, touche
i actually love washing cars, i think it's because my dad foxed us into thinking it was a treat when we were kids, but you can't do it when you live in a second storey flat with no hosepipe, that is a LOT of trudging up and down with buckets!
(, Sat 24 Apr 2010, 16:02, closed)
Keep you trim for sure.
I used to be an absolute arse on the London roads - I cringe to think of the way I drove. Once, I raced a Maserati from Admiralty Arch to Kensington barracks, and he only got in front once and not for long. I was driving a Triumph Vitesse ( with the roof down, *smugs*) while my girlfriend rolled a joint. I expect you do the same most days.
(, Sat 24 Apr 2010, 16:13, closed)
maryjane is a bit 1996 for me, naturally i am usually injecting myself between the toes whilst driving...
(, Sat 24 Apr 2010, 16:49, closed)
Just like a young girl should.
- that racy little scene would have been more 1976!
Simple times, simple pleasures.

Ooh, look what I found. Very 1976.
(, Sat 24 Apr 2010, 18:27, closed)
that is seriously fit

(, Sat 24 Apr 2010, 20:19, closed)

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