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"Here in my car", said 80s pop hero Gary Numan, "I feel safest of all". He obviously never shared the same stretch of road as me, then. Automotive tales of mirth and woe, please.

(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 12:34)
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Wavy lines back to about 1995-ish
I had a Honda Prelude at the time (2.3i 4WS, thanks for asking) and the missus was driving for a bit of practice. She rarely drove my cars in those days as she was more familiar with smaller motors and didn't feel too confident in the bigger vehicles I favoured.

Anyhoo, it was a lovely summer's afternoon on the A50 heading towards Stoke. We were in the inside lane, sticking to the speed limit, when a large motorbike with 2-up shot past us at about 85-90.

Shortly after it had gone by, we had to pull out to overtake a slower car or three. About a hundred yards ahead of us, however, all was not well.

A large object fell off the back of the bike and rolled and bounced up the road. Cue brain switching to slow-motion vision mode as we realised it was the pillion passenger and he'd come off the back of the bike. The bouncing was due to him wearing a rucksack that threw him off the ground every time he rolled onto it.

"What should I do?" asked she who must be obeyed.
"Stopping might be a good idea," I suggested.

We pulled up - hard - in the outside lane and put the car's hazards on to protect the biker from following traffic.

By the time we got to him, however, he had got up, taken off his helmet and was sitting, dazed and white as a sheet, on the central Armco barrier.

As the missus is a nurse, she checked on the bloke while I busied myself retrieving his belongings - including his wallet - from where they had been strewn across the tarmac. Someone else had already called an ambulance.

It transpired that the guy and his mate were on their way back from Donington Park following some bike race weekend and the pillion passenger had fallen asleep. We're not entirely sure what had happened next, but given that we could see the toe bones of one foot through what was left of his trainers, it's possible he caught his foot in the chain and been catapulted off.

Landing on the rucksack probably saved his life, but the jeans and trainers did nothing to protect his lower extremities from a severe case of road rash. He'd broken nothing major though, unless you count every toe on one foot, and was able to limp with help to the grass verge before the paramedics arrived.

In the interim, however, some more bikers returning from the race pulled up and demanded to know if we'd knocked him off the bike. Thanks lads, so that's what you get for being a good Samaritan.

Sorry for the lack of funneh, but wanted to tell the story as a warning against leaving the leathers and the biking boots at home in the hot weather.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 22:33, 9 replies)
Proper bikers should know that, but you're never going to stop the 50cc pillocks in their shorts and T-shirts, unfortunately.

(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 22:37, closed)
They soon stop when they realise that what's slowing them down, as they slide along the road on their arse, is well, their arse.
A plastic surgeon of my professional acquantance used to reckon on someone losing a millimetre of skin/tissue for every mph they're sliding along the deck at.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 10:14, closed)
This is the equation generally used.
I believe it to be correct.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 10:59, closed)
I've ridden bikes since 1975-ish and ...
... I don't even like sitting on one without a crash hat. I know someone who over-balanced in their garage and suffered a skull fracture when they hit the deck. Shudder.

Boots, crash hat, gloves and leathers for me. Some laugh at me (and God knows there are enough reasons to), but if you feel a chuckle coming on, search google images for degloved hand or foot injuries.

Some time in the late 1980s, driving in heavy early morning commute traffic down the M1 somewhere near Hemel, I was right behind a biker who tapped his front brake while under a bridge. He must have hit a patch of black ice, so cue Simon and Garfunkel singing "slip sliding away". I stopped in good time, hazards on, helped him up (he was only dazed) and onto the shoulder, picked up his bike and waited with him until the ambulance arrived. Being a good samaritan, I just wanted to make sure he was ok (head injuries can be unpredictable.)

Never worked in my favour though. I remember hitting a patch of oil on my 400-4, somewhere in South Kensington, and sliding up the road on my arse, coming to rest at a well-queued bus stop. Bastards started clapping at my performance, as I lay there checking I could feel all my extremities and move my head. Nasty sods - I was doing 10mph under the speed limit too, the filthy rotten swine!
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 22:52, closed)
Ugh.
Out here, it's perfectly legal to "white line" and the majority of motorcyclists do it.

"White Lining" is being on the freeway, and if you're on a bike, it's ok to drive between the lanes on the white line that seperates the lanes. Consequently, if you're driving a car, you constantly have to be on the look out for the idiots that choose that fastest way to get through traffic - even if the slow lane is 2 miles an hour slower than the fast lane.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 4:06, closed)
:-)
I once had a bike overtake me on the "bike lane" aka the cross-hatched gap indicating you're not supposed to go on it.

Fair dues, it didn't hold me up, but it was amusing to see him slam his brakes on as another biker coming the other way was doing the same thing.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:02, closed)
You're only restricted from using it,
if it has solid white lines encapsulating it. If not (assuming they weren't abusing speed TOO much) there's no reason why you shouldn't overtake using it.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 11:03, closed)
True
This was the "solid lines surrounding it" type. It was a slightly wide road and is there to stop cars overtaking really, although there are bollards every so often, and indicate this as well.

I've actually seen drivers pull out onto this though, to stop bikers overtaking them in slow moving traffic!
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 11:07, closed)
Also called "perforating"
ie - tearing along the dotted line.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 13:01, closed)

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