Aaah... School.
-wavy lines, back to my last year of compulsory education-

I had two escapades that stick out this year, one being right at the start, and one being right at the end.

The first one?
First year meeting of the year. Everyone is buzzing with stories of their summers - and the fact this is our last ever year. Which of course means we can actually go to the shop for dinner.
The shop, the holy grail of eating at the time. (Meant we could stick it to Jamie Oliver and get the biggest, shittest microwave hotdog going. 'aave it!)
But no - We couldnt make this journey for the first week. We needed a slip of permission from our wonderful parents returned and passes printed.
The dinner bell rings.
Fuck this, think I and other like minded Pioneers.
We trek to the far end of the school field, and begin hopping the fence, single file. Great escape? Pah!
Saving hte best till last, I light my cigarette, and hop the fence.
And instead of sweet freedom, im met with my head of year watching me from down the lane. "Bollocks" think I.
Glances are traded.
an awkwardly hidden draw of the cigarette is taken.
"Bollocks to this" I think, proud of my large vocabulary.
The middle finger salute is given by both hands, and I make my daring journey to the shop.
A phone call home secured my week of detentions for this heinous crime.
Still, a victory to me.

-fast forward is pressed-

Aaah, the last compulsory week of education - the last Business lesson id ever have, right after a gruelling day of mock GCSE's.
The teacher? A substitute, although from the ICT department. (and what would soon turn out to be, a major member of the H&S brigade.)
His respect? zero to none.
15 minutes left? flagging? see the bus pulling up?
Oh, its time to go. But how?
His backs turned..
The windows open..
I went for it.
I made it.
That night, another phonecall from school.
It apparently went something like -
ICT teacher: "Id like to keep bredstkcriminal for a detention on Friday."
Mother: "Whats he done?"
T: "Jumped out of a window."
M: "Haha! Was it a second floor?"
T: (annoyed) "No, it was ground floor, but we cant have all the students behaving this way."
M: "Oh, of course not."
So, I earned a detention on my last ever day of school. Of course I didnt bloody turn up!

Apologies if its too long.
(bredstkcriminal, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 1:43, 3 replies)

Congratulations for making teaching the hard work it is today.

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 5 Jun 2010, 2:39, closed)

Its pushing three years ago now..
But I was quite a nice kid really!
(bredstkcriminal, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 2:45, closed)

Fair enough, 'spose.

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 5 Jun 2010, 2:57, closed)