Carjacker caught at 3am this morning...
I was woken by mrs Nimrodihnio shouting at the window 'Oi get away from our car'. Jumping up and opening the window I saw a guy in his early 20's halfway into our car 'what the fuck are you doing?'I shouted'
in a very posh drunk voice 'um...ahh Hugo told me to meet here' all the time swaying unsteadily.
Quickly realising this was no chav twoccer, he proceeded to give this confusing tale about he had been drinking all day and how his rugger chums had left him and told him to meet him at my address. As they weren't there he thought what he could do was borrow a sat nav as he was trying to get home to Northampton, 100 miles away, on a childs microscooter which he had 'borrowed' from someones front garden.
all interspersed with 'God i'm so sorry sir, I raaaly don't want to ruin my life, ja'
Police arrived and saw he was so inebriated, had no idea where he was and as no damage had been done took pity on him and decided to help him to get home.
Very bizarre, especially as I was starkers having this chat with a pissed posh boy out of my bedroom window.
I kept thinking of the old boy from the fast show 'i'm afraid I was very, very drunk'
Partly my fault as I had forgotten to put the central locking on the car earlier, doh!
(nimrodihnio making gravy for one., Sun 6 Jun 2010, 10:02, 4 replies)

So if he hadn't been posh, he wouldn't have talked his way out of it.
*shakes head*
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 11:06, closed)

the fact that he stayed to wait for the police and was apologising
if he had been really trying to rob he would have run off and was aware of what was going on. the conversation was very incoherant and he was so drunk he could hardly stand. His verbal skills were not what got him out of the situation so it wasn't a class thing, trying to go 100 miles on a childs micro scooter made him a little different from the local twoccers.
If he hadn't been posh he probably would have been on a rugby club tour 100 miles from home.
(nimrodihnio making gravy for one., Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:28, closed)

Nah, he wasn't up to running off
and had already nicked the scooter.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 14:32, closed)

I can't see the police
letting off someone in a shell suit on the grounds that they were too drunk.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 21:56, closed)