A roasted pea.
How rare..
So the party was fancy dress, in a nice big hall, it was a friend's birthday party, but with all her relations, friends of family etc.-her parents had let her do the teeny house party the year before,and it was never going to happen again- it was also Halloween.

Now I had been working all day so a couple of mates had gone to the fancy dress shop to get the costumes, what did they get me, a fucking pink fairy, replete with wings, cunts.

Anyway I've always been game for a laugh, so we show up at the party, an evil monk, some weird thing that looked like the creature that radios the storm troopers at Los Isly when they're about to get on the Millennium Falcon for the first time and a fairy.

The party went quite well for a bunch of drunken teenagers with a load of older relatives and such.

So, a couple of mates and I are walking back to my house in our costumes at about 3 in the morning on Halloween, and are very drunk indeed.

We were walking past the local convent when I had my great idea. Let's break into the convent and find the dormitories, you know what they say about catholic girls, it'll be an orgy.

So we climbed over the gates, checked all the doors and windows, and found one unlocked, hurrah. We were then confronted by a hound from hell, barking, snarling and generally looking like it was going to rip our throats out. Two of us turned to run while one of our number-not me-calmly walked up to it, and started to stroke its head, it promptly rolled over to have its belly tickled. Bonza! 'Let's find the girls' says I.

So I'm wondering round these classrooms looking for the dorms, I walk into a dark room and a voice shouts 'Freeze!', so of course I run. I'm running down these corridors, when I look behind me and there's a very short, very bald naked man chasing me. I got away and hid under some stairs.

A few minutes later, my mates walk by with said naked man chatting away. I come out of hiding, and all comes clear. He was the caretaker, when he saw us in fancy dress, he realised a Halloween prank was afoot, and no police were called, he just wanted to know how we got in, and how we got passed the dog. I was finding all of this very funny, as he was still starkers, and us in costume.

It turned out it wasn't even a convent anymore. A prep school had bought it a few years before.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 18:53, Reply)