The bar manager used to grow his own
Which was nice. We'd wrap up in the evening, have a cheeky smoke at the bar over a pint, and then I'd head off.

At Christmas one year, he came down with a new bag - typically a plastic coin-bag stuffed to the point of bursting.

He rolled the usual, and then scooshed the bag across at me, saying "Here you go - merry Christmas"

Mate! Cheers, pal! It must have been a good £80 worth.

Well - such a gesture demanded we have another pint and another smoke, and 3am saw me staggering back to my mum's house completely ripped to the tits.

I get to the back door of my house, and I'm trying to get in - I'm pretty adept at this - as fans will remember, my mum's a pretty light sleeper.

The next morning my mum wakes me up.

"Vagabond ... erm ... have you lost something?"

"Eh?" say I, then thinking quickly "No." shit shit shit shit shit shit

"Are you sure?" she asks, "Not a bag or anything?"

Shit shit shit shit shit shit "No ma. Why - what's up?" I enquire, cool as you please.

"Well ... I found this on our back doorstep ... " she says, producing the bag, "I think it might be drugs."

"Jesus, mum! Is that what I think it is?"

She hands me the bag, and I have a sniff "Mum, you know ... I don't want to say how I know this, but I think that's cannabis."

"That's what I thought, too", she says, "I'm going to go and flush it down the toilet. It's the best place for it. I don't think we need to call the police."

...


I don't know who was playing who, but as an adult I have absolute respect for my mum.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 8:53, 3 replies)

I bet she smoked it all herself
Filthy. Filthy.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 12:48, closed)

...and a good thing too!!
Had you smoked that you would have become a heroin and cracked-cocaine addict and spent your life mollesting children and being a suicide bomber.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 18:15, closed)

Good thing I don't do any of that now, then!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 10:18, closed)