I might was well get this pearoast out of the way
From: www.b3ta.com/questions/mixtapes/

I was too much of a social retard to ask Julia out, and on our heavily-chaperoned visits to pubs where she'd spend my money like I was some oil rich squillionaire, I could never quite find the time nor the words to declare my love.

So I decided to do it by tape. Cassette tape. For this was the 1980s and I wore eyeliner.

I put together a C-90 cassette of songs she might like (bearing in mind that she thought "I just called to say I love you" on a Bontempi organ was the pinnacle of the performing arts) and added a spoken interlude on side two where I unloaded - in excrutiating detail - my deepest desire to engage her in the Acts of Venus.

Under the cover of darkness, I sneaked up her drive, posted it through her letterbox and legged it. Then after giving it a week or two for the message to sink in, I then broached the most delicate of subjects:

"Hey Julia, did you listen to that tape I made you?"

"I didn't have time. I gave it to my brother."

*glup*

"He's joining the RAF Regiment. I thought it would be nice to give him something to listen to in his barrack room."

Switch the scene, dear reader, to a testosterone-filled room at RAF Uxbridge. Wishing (I Had a Photograph of You) by A Flock of Seagulls fades out as a number of muscled, moustached Ross Kemp-a-likes polish their boots and write letters home.

Then: "Oh Julia, as the band plays on, we make sweet, sweet music of our own..."

Moral: Ask her out. It's not going to kill you. Her brother might, though.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 11:52, 1 reply)

Officelol!
Missed that the first time round - wish I could have been a fly on the wall in the barrack block...
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 13:27, closed)