Blunt and to the point
My first attempt at asking someone out was to pine after them for months, eventually get their phone number from the order form they put in where I worked and call them with a desperate "Go out with me."

"What..? Er... why?"
"Because I'm fed up with thinking about it."
"Er... I can't."

That's about all I remember, my brain skipped over the rest of it. She might remember the rest (she's a member here so you may be in luck) but I doubt it. At least I was forthright, is all I can say.

Now have a slightly more successful pearoast.

I was in Cardiff's premier student spot, Solus nightclub in the student union. I was out with my newly agreed housemates on a pre-living-together outing when I spotted a girl being strangled. Seriously, some dickhead had a belt round her neck on the dancefloor. I went over and with my customary good grace told him to "fuck off and stop being such a fucking knob".

(in another bravado-related incident a couple of months beforehand I had told a group of lairy chavs to "CALM THE FUCK DOWN" at the top of my voice. Surprisingly, they did)

Well, the girl was very grateful. And her friend was very appreciative. Her friend also had something about her that I found extremely attractive, and to wit, I spent a few minutes working my frankly resistable charm. And lo and behold, it worked, and vigorous tongueplay took place for much of the rest of the night. I'd forgotten her name, of course. So when her friend came to the bar while we were buying drinks later and said "So.. you and Nicola blah blah blah whocaresimnotlisteninganymoreyoujustgotmeoutofahole" I was very happy. Still, I fancied more.

Now this is where it gets interesting. Anyone ever read a book called the Dice Man? If you haven't, it's about a guy who governs his life by rolling dice for every decision he makes and then does what the dice command.

Now while I wasn't going to go as far as he did (I'm not into rape and murder) I had thought it would be a good way to decide things I don't care about - which drink do I want? Which club do we go to? etc - and maybe inject a bit of spontaneity into my life, which had become rather stale and shit since a bad break-up the previous year.

So at this point, I had two dice in my pocket. A plan formed. A few minutes later, with a mischievous smile, I laid my trap.

"So... tell me, have you ever wanted to be more spontaneous?"
"Well, of course, why?"
"I'm going to roll these two dice. Less than five, we go and have sex now. Less than ten, we wait until later. More than ten, we don't have sex tonight. Deal?"
"...yeah, okay."

In like Flynn! I am a golden God! I am the Prince Of Punani! I am flying by the pre-emptive feeling of my balls ridding themselves of 10cc of unnecessary semen. The more mathematically-minded of you may also notice that I had strategically put the odds utterly in my favour, insofar as there was a mere 1 in 12 chance of failure to get myself well and truly laid that night.

...rolled a fucking 11.
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 14:38, 7 replies)

Hah!
As a geeky wargamer of some years, I could have told you to never ever trust dice. They'll fuck you up.
(The man with the flan swashed his buckle on, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:52, closed)

For a *click*
tell us, did you EVER fuck this girl?
(mpaz52, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 16:44, closed)

Yes.
She came back with me anyway and I saw her seven or eight times over the next couple of months. She was lovely, loads of fun and absolutely no strings attached.

That is except for the time I hadn't seen her for a couple of months, saw her in the SU, said hi, got chatting, she came back with me again. We got down to some business, my hands wandered...

"...are you on your period?"
"..yeah"
"..maybe you should go to the toilet now"
"...yeah, I think I should"

This is also absolutely true.
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 20:35, closed)

Schoolboy!
Stick to the book next time, above 10 should have been 'I rape you'
( Regger, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 16:50, closed)

Isn't it a 2 in 11 chance?

( Sonic the Hedgetrimmer doesn't care what you think, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 18:11, closed)

Nope
There are 36 possible combinations of dice. Only one of them gives you 12. Two give you 11. 3 in 36 = 1 in 12. 7 is the number with the highest number of possible combinations, 6 of them (and therefore has a 1 in 6 chance of being thrown)

If you're ever in Vegas, this knowledge comes in very handy at the craps table.
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 19:30, closed)