Nervous talking.
I've been making a great effort, when talking to the ladies, to keep my answers short, sweet and to the point. Problem is you see, when I'm nervous I say the STUPIDEST fucking things and immediately regret them.

Example 1: Laura; My ex from when I was 17 moved back home for a while and seemed very keen to meet up. When we were 17 she was a bit religious and, basically, I didn't get any further than 3rd base. Now she was a bit older/wiser she knew what she wanted and wasn't shy about it. PERFECT.

SO. The first time we meet up (at her house) it was straight to bed :) We'd had a conversation earlier in the week about how many partners we had been with so after the deed was done and she was lying in my arms, her lovely dancers body against mine I say "hooray for number X eh?"

FUCK ME WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!!! I think.

It didn't go down well. At all.

But I'd obviously made an impression of a different sort so I get a second chance the following week. I go round for her and she's just out the shower. She throws on some clothes and it's round to mine this time. All goes well but as she's getting dressed she checks her pockets and pulls out her bank card.

"no need to pay me" Says I then instantly put my head in my hands and DIE INSIDE. 2 weeks later she had herself a new boyfriend and no more fun for me.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:11, 4 replies)

You're well rid
no sense of humour, that one.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:47, closed)

Lovely body though.
She was a dancer. Went to some art school etc. She could do that pointes thing on her toes. Amazing legs.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 18:54, closed)

Pfft. No sense of humour.
In my (admittedly limited) experience if they can't laugh at themselves and don't find squeaky farts funny then they're not the girl for me.
EDIT: And a better response to the credit card scenario would've been "Ooh, I'm sorry, I only take cash", and if the chance ever arises I'm damn well gonna say it!
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:52, closed)

Haha.
It was the first thing off my tongue before I thought of it.
She was standing in my room with a credit card while I was still on the bed, what else am I going to do? You live and learn.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 18:54, closed)