Not really asking someone out, but a chat up line nonetheless...
But I think it fits.

Back when I was in high school, me and my best mate (David) were often referred to as the same person, because you'd usually find one of us taking the piss out of the other. All was well.

We had a decent sized group of friends, about evenly split between lads and girls. Between the two of us, we ended up either snogging/going out with all of the girls bar 2. One was a really nice girl (Becca), and had been with her fella for a couple of years at this point, so there was no chance. Angelic in behaviour, but with a sense of humour so dark, it would have made Chris Morris shit himself. The other was just a munter. Great laugh, but ugly as sin.

This story concerns the first girl. One monday we came in, to find her obviously quite upset. Turns out her fella had dumped her out of the blue (he was a bit of a tosser), and she'd spent the weekend feeling sorry for herself. Having decided against my original plan to cheer her up*, me and my best mate came up with something which is still one of my favourite lines.

At lunchtime, one of the knobheads had made a comment about her panda eyes, and she'd got even more upset. She'd eventually calmed down, and just quickly redone her makeup, showing how pretty she really was. We see her stood with her mates, walk over, and begin:

David: Wow Becca, you look half decent again! (we were cheeky little sods, but we were just charming enough to pull it off)
Me: Definitely
Becca: Aww, thanks guys.
M: I do have to ask something though...Did it hurt?
B: Did what hurt?
D: When you fell from heaven...
B & Mates: Awwww
Me:...And landed on your face.

Her face went from happy, to confusion, to shock, then to complete and utter amusement. She almost shat herself laughing, while her mates (who were all innocent and boring) looked at us as if we were the biggest pair of twats ever.

She later admitted that it was just what she needed that day, and I'm still glad we were able to brighten it!

*Knob her myself
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:16, 2 replies)

This is the win for me this week
Genuinely fucking GREAT post. Clicks all round, sir. Clicks all round!
( SpankyHanky, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 17:09, closed)