keith
i like a man who can make me laugh, so, when i spotted keith on the dancefloor gyrating like a tazered gibbon, i decided he was the one for me. due to the fact that i was drunk, my usual opinion of myself -that i'm gorgeous- had become a rock solid conviction. i walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. he turned around, i smiled and asked "what are you doing tonight, apart from taking me home?"
it worked! he walked me home and, by the time we got there, we were a couple.
it lasted 3 months. it wasn't his pathological tightness that ended it, nor his constant demands for sex(yeah, like i'd dump him for THAT), it was him crying that he loved me and asking me to marry him.
cue the running shoes...
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 19:00, 4 replies)

Tazered gibbon
Love it!
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 19:22, closed)

seriously
he dances like your granddad at your cousin's wedding :(
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 19:54, closed)

The evil bastard. Imagine! Being unafraid to show his emotions and asking for commitment!
(The Ghost of Stephen Foster, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 23:27, closed)

it was just way too soon
i'd asked him to back off a bit. he wanted me to move into his tiny bedsit with him after we'd been together for a week.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 20:38, closed)