how not to ask someone out
im not stunningly beautiful but im not horribly disfigured either so i occasionally get asked out at work by random drunks, weird people, geeky students and lonely old men. this is easily dealt with. smile, polite excuse. both parties move on. you go to the glass washer and they probably move onto their next victim. done.

there was one guy who became a regular. at first he came in with a couple of friends and i think they stood at the bar so me and whoever was on chatted politely. then they left. a normal night. was probably the same conversation i have with every single non-student person who comes to the bar. whats your name? are you a student? what year are you in? what do you study? ah, i know something about that subject but actually i dont because iv never studied it in my life. allow me to bore you for an hour and half about how this eminent theorist - who i cant pronounce the name of - is wrong. where you from? iv been there. are you a farmer? hahahahahha. i have had it so many times i have had to resist the temptation to lie and tell people i do astrophysics like some of the other bar staff so they wont try to talk about it.

back to the guy. probably about fifty, maybe sixty. a bit creepy. bald as a coot. demon headmaster glasses and eyes. intense. the first time he came in, he asked me for lunch. smile, polite excuse, sorry. bye!

or so i thought. tbh, i did not actually think very much about him coming in by himself and standing by the bar for two hours then going. there a lot of people who come in just to chat but he always came in on a busy night so there was no possibility of him getting near the bar.

then my boss tells me that he came in and tried to find out exactly when i was working. he'd asked me before when i worked which some people do. i dont have fixed hours, like id tell him if i did, so i told him that. that was a bit creepy but oh well. i didnt think that much about it and she wasnt allowed to tell people when i was working. she thought it was hilarious.

then he comes in and stands at the bar. luckily, there are two other rowdy drunk students at the other side of the bar also trying to talk to me. excellent! i escape the boring conversation. not that they are up to much. one of them has slumped onto the bar. the other is trying to persuade us to go out to a club. no ta. mr creepy keeps trying to get my attention and i talk to him politely but i got up early, iv been doing an assessment all day and frankly, i cant be bothered. he tells me that i shouldnt talk to the two boys because they are drunk and apparently, they are treating me with disrespect. thanks

then the two boys go off to play the quiz machine. i am left with this guy who starts berating me. why exactly am i being like this? am i always like this? wtf is he talking about? apparently, i know exactly what he's talking about.

then he tells me he's been trying to talk to me for weeks but im always so busy at the bar... all those times he'd been standing there, he'd been waiting for me. he just wants to know if i'll go for lunch sometime. he wants to get to know me. so i tell him im very flattered but i have a boyfriend so it would be very unfair. this should mean he'll go away... but no. hes spent too much time trying to get to talk to me to give up now. he asks me about my boyfriend. whats he like? what are his bad points? does he treat me ok? i am getting a bit pissed off and freaked out now so i dont answer his questions. so he asks me out for lunch again. no! so he sat at the bar for about half an hour alternating between 'but i think you're lovely' and 'but PLEASE'. i went around glass collecting as many times as possible which was grabbing at straws because the only people in the pub were completely in view from the bar and did not have any empty glasses.

so i did the manly thing and told him to stop asking. then when he didnt, i hid in the cellar.
(ladyintheradiator, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 21:45, Reply)