Melissa and I, First year at college.
She was gorgeous. I had asked her out so many times only to get turned down - then out of the blue the phone rings.

Melissa - Dr Tugnut. Will you come to party with me?

Me - Erm yeah, when?

Melissa - Tonight.

Me - Great. (Dancing around the room.)

Melissa - I am only doing this to make my ex jealous.

Me - OK erm...so nothing serious then?

Melissa - No. But I will give you a blow-job.

RESULT!
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:43, 6 replies)

Haha reminds me of a time...
I was on a work conference, there were 3 guys and 1 girl, the other two guys were gay. They all wanted to go out to this gay bar, I was somewhat reluctant (I needn't have been really) so the girl telephones my room to insist I come out with them all and seals the deal by saying she'll give me a blow job. Somehow nothing else matters after those words eh?
( JebediahSpringfield, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:56, closed)

Wonder if it works with shelves
you know, 'Those shelves want putting up, and I'll give you a blow job.'
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 13:23, closed)

Brilliant.
What time should I call around?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 13:28, closed)

If it doesn't,
then the man in question is gay. No question. If men could persuade women that the reward for doing DIY should always be a blowjob, B&Q would be bigger than Microsoft.
(The man with the flan swashed his buckle on, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 13:38, closed)

too fucking right

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 15:21, closed)

Spot on
It works for Mrs Dchurch very well.

The only thing is, I'm trying to bring the granularity down to things like changing the TV channel, and putting the kettle on, without success so far.

...managed it to accompany her Christmas shopping though, I fucking hate shopping, so she had to do something if she wanted me along!
(dchurch bah, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 16:52, closed)