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This is a question Cheap Tat

OneEyedMonster remindes us about the crap you can buy in pound shops: "Batteries that lasted about an hour and then died. A screwdriver with a loose handle so I couldn't turn the damn screw, and a tape measure which wasn't at all accurate."

Similarly, my neighbour bought a lawnmower from Argos that was so cheap the wheels didn't go round, it sort of skidded over the grass whilst gently back-combing it.

What's the cheapest, most useless crap you've bought?

(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 7:26)
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Push the fisherman in the boat out.
There are some situatuions when it is completely unacceptable to cut financial corners. Installing smoke alarms, for instance. Child-proofing your house. Parents funeral arrangements. "She doesn't need to look nice where she's going, they're not paricularly judgmental".

This concept is not universal, and quite often some products with a seemingly high mark-up are of similar quality to a cheaper option. And using genetic powers of product assessment, I often manage to save a few pennies purchasing goods that are not exactly 'cutting edge', like a stereotypical thrifty Scotsman.

So allow me, if you will, to take you back to October 2006. It was late in the month when my fiancee uttered to me the four words that are guaranteed to instantly invert a mans world: "My period is late".

Trying to sound as nonchalant as possible I enquired "Oh really, how late?"

"Nearly a month"

And so within half an hour I was in Tesco pharmacy, perusing the aisles in search of a pregnancy test. These particular items have a chameleon-like ability to blend in with the proliferation of curative products available. I sheepishly asked the kind assistant, who discreetly advised me of the whereabouts of the urine activated baby indicators.

The choice was limited to an expensive digital device or a Tesco 'Own Brand' Pregnancy Indicator. Now as far as I'm concerned both items had a similar function: (soon-to-be)Mrs JasperSinister would pee on them, they would celverly sniff out which hormones were present and tell us whether or not we would soon be proud parents to a demon piglet.

And so I returned homewards, my other half disappeared into the bathroom and emerged a few minutes later. The test was negative. To be extra sure she took another. Again, negative. So we decided to sit back and wait for her belated monthly visitor to arrive.

Another week passes without period. With a degree of trepidation I ventured again to Tesco, and this time purchased a pricier digital Baby Indication Device. Took it back to Mrs Sinister, the process was repeated. This time the tale took a (somewhat predictable) twist. This Rolls Royce of pregnancy tests disagreed with Tescos assessment. Mrs Sinister was actually with child. A second test was taken, to establish validity, with identical results.

So apparently when the Tesco Own Brand Baby Indication Device stated 'Not Pregnant' what it actually meant was 'Quite Pregnant'

The conclusion to this story: 9 months later Mrs JasperSinister gave birth to a healthy (and human) baby boy: wrinkly and loud, but also cute, well-behaved and happy.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 11:11, 10 replies)
I remember the situation well when me and my missus were 'in the breech'. I bought basic ones first - positive, then the more expensive ones - positive, then a multipack of medium priced ones - positive (can you see the theme). My wife's sense of denial caused me to spend about forty quid on tests which all showed the same result. She then went to the doctor who kindly informed her that she wouldn't need to piss on his sticks too, as they use the same chemical and she could safely assume that we were with child.

I refused to get a digital one, they charged about £20 a shot for those at the time.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 11:40, closed)
Bloody Hell...

Not knowing about these things, is there some kind of legal disclaimer on the packets that states 'results of test could be utter bollocks'. Can't they be sued?

Rachelswipe would know

(Because of the legal issue, I mean...I'm not suggesting she has loads of experience with pregnancy kits or anything.....)


*keeps digging hole*


(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 11:47, closed)
I don't know how they can sell these
This happened to me a few years ago. My gf went through three of the Boots own brand(it was a 3 for 2 offer), all negative.

(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 11:57, closed)
Whilst on the subject....
.....when the big day arrived we went to hospital to be induced. This involved my fiancee having a special gel smeared inside her (tee-hee) by a midwife (she turned to me afterwards and said "I feel like I should buy her some flowers or something").
We then had to walk about for a few hours waiting for her to dilate enough to have her waters broken. After her waters were broken she gave birth in under 3 hours.....with NO PAIN RELIEF.

She is a hero!
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 12:06, closed)
I used to work in a pharmacy...
These tests might not pick up a pregnancy if you're testing too early. It was probably the week that passed between your two bouts of testing rather than the quality of the test that affected your result.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 13:06, closed)
that's a possibility
RadioElectric.....but the Tesco test was taken more nearly a month after conception!
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 13:20, closed)
I see...
I could be wrong but I think the recommended time to take the test is a certain number of days AFTER the missed period should have come. It might have been that late in your case, I'm not quite sure from what you wrote.

In any case, the accuracy of the tests will increase as you go further into pregnancy. I don't think I've seen a pregnancy test try to sell itself as "more accurate than the rest" which is why they all seem to be putting their added value into results that are easier to read.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 13:57, closed)
I'm a midwife.

Pregnancy tests are basically picking up HCG- the pregnancy hormone. You can be pregnant but the hormone levels still low enough not to register on a test, even at 4 weeks after conception... I've known people have to go a lot longer than that to get a positive test on a wee testing stick.
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 18:39, closed)
"Urine activated baby indicators" has to be the funniest thing I've heard all day today. Congrats, too.
(, Sat 5 Jan 2008, 13:03, closed)
"Demon Piglet"
Earned my click
(, Sat 5 Jan 2008, 14:51, closed)

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