Playground full of herpes
When I was younger my Dad used to let me watch snippets of the Harry Enfield show if I had behaved myself. I thought it was hilarious, and at Christmas couple of years later, in one of those 'Homer buying Marge a bowling ball' type present purchase decisions, I got him (via mum) a Harry Enfield 1997 video (the yellow one with 'Kevin' on the front for those that remember).

At some point on Christmas/Boxing Day family gather round to watch it. Several sketches in and all are having fun, until the sketch where 'Wayne & Waynetta' win the lottery appears. In it they are asked what they will do with their winnings and Wayne replies 'get my herpes cured'. I did not know what herpes was. I asked my parents. I am told, probably after much squirming looking back, it is 'bad breath'. This accepted we watch the rest of the video, eat chocolate etc.

Return to school post holidays, and I can't remember the exact happening, but at some point in the throes of playground name-calling, I accuse someone of having 'herpes', which I explain means awful garlic breath. Circa a week later and 'herpes' is now part of the standard 12 yr old vocabulary alongside 'gay', 'knobcheese' et al. At some point after this, the inevitable teacher involvement occurs after the remark is overheard. Cue mass bollocking but luckily I was never revealed to be the original source. Much hilarity at the teacher trying to explain the true meaning of the word. In short we were insulting each other, just not in the way we thought, but it still makes me smile.
(hebangsthedrums, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 20:38, 1 reply)

'Gay knobcheese'
Have a click for reminding me of the hilarity of calling someone that.
( Funkenschlag still likes dogs more than cats, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 16:52, closed)