Recently started a new job, newly single, and the Chistmas party came early in my tenure
A couple of the girls I worked with had - not at my behest - identified two female colleagues as having, er, "previous form" at this annual celebration of enforced jollity. Being so long removed from the art of pulling I decided to accept their help graciously.

The first, upon entering into our initial conversation beyond "hello", went on at considerable and high-pitched length about how wonderful it was that I was so comfortable in, and overt about, my homosexuality.

Whilst it was very amusing correcting her mistake, the look of slack-jawed astonishment on her face at this point rather made her resemble the last trout in the frozen fish section, which somewhat dulled my desire.

An hour later I was talking and - I think - flirting reasonably well with Melissa. I was hardly an expert before I surrendered my genitals to another, many years ago, but I'm pretty sure she was flirting back. Until another chap came over and said hello, after which she looked somewhat disconsolate. It transpired she'd entered into negotations with this gent, some time prior, as regards regular access to her vagina, and these had not reached a satisfactory conclusion.

Were I a cad or a bounder, I could have preyed upon her emotional state. I could even have played the "take solace in my manly (well she doesn't know better at this point) arms" card. I did neither of these things. I went straight into GBF mode, asked her all about him, and them, and why it didn't work, and what she liked so much about him, and concluded our conversation by packing her off in his direction with the words - I kid you not - "Now you go and show him why he'd be lucky to have you, then come back and tell me all about it!"

She did not come back.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 22 Dec 2014, 16:04, 6 replies)

I'm confused. Are you?

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 22 Dec 2014, 16:19, closed)

Nope
But when faced with the statement "And you wonder why people think you're gay!", as I frequently am, my response is simple. I don't wonder that at all, I know exactly why people think I'm gay. They're wrong, but I completely understand their point of view.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 22 Dec 2014, 16:32, closed)

Sokay, Some people think I'm straight.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 22 Dec 2014, 17:30, closed)

Why don't you just go gay?
You might at least get some sex.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 22 Dec 2014, 21:00, closed)

See I was trying to be subtle but you got the hots for him obvs.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 22 Dec 2014, 21:10, closed)

I think
you could use some life coaching from George!
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 22 Dec 2014, 23:29, closed)