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This is a question Christmas Tales

Deskbound says: "We found my nan's false teeth under the table a few hours after we'd finished Christmas lunch. The teeth still had a mouthful of food in them." Share your Crimble-related stories.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:09)
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My first ever 'bad' Christmas day.
My sister in law doesn't really like our side of the family. She is somewhat of a controlling person and seems to feel uncomfortable without the same sense of power over us that she does with her own parents/siblings. It's particularly odd, as my parents are very amiable people and get along with anyone (including my and my sister's partners), including catering to my SiLs whims.

Last Christmas day, seething that my brother insisted they spend Christmas with us, she concluded rather out-of-the-blue that my 2yr old niece has a fever, and having just been upstairs where no one could hear she'd called NHS direct who agreed they needed to get to A&E immediately. Cue her scooping up my niece who was happily playing/running around/laughing with her new toys, and my brother and my mother (as the only one sober and could drive) being forced to spend next 6 hours waiting at the hospital, just to be told there was nothing wrong.

Such a shame, we had a pretty good, laid-back and feud-free immediate family until she came along...

To offset the sour Christmas above: one xmas back in the late 80's my nanna and her sister got really pissed over the course of the day and were laughing so hard my nanna was rolling around on the floor for nearly 10 minutes, like some kind of Internet-cliche. That's the image I have in my head whenever I read 'ROFLOL'.
(, Sun 22 Dec 2013, 5:13, 7 replies)
Sounds to me like your brother can't satisfy her and she's shagging her boss.

(, Sun 22 Dec 2013, 13:18, closed)
Maybe I'll mention that theory next time I see them...
... then again, he's got the build to beat the shit out of me, so maybe not.
(, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 9:22, closed)

(, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 11:27, closed)
What do you mean?
Oh, you're suggesting I should point out to my brother how to handle one properly?
(, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:21, closed)
I'm suggesting at this point that your entire family are a bunch of queers.

(, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:44, closed)
Don't be homophobic and self-deprecating.
Your dad screams your name out when he rides my cock. Apparently you're the only one who knows how to treat him right.
(, Wed 25 Dec 2013, 3:55, closed)
this has reminded me of my granny at my stepdad's 50th
norman wisdoming across the lawn and falling in a wrinkled heap, giggling and singing 'you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool'.

would have been funnier if my stepdad wasn't a violent alcoholic rapist but hey, you can't have everything.

happy christmas!!
(, Sun 22 Dec 2013, 17:15, closed)

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