How to fail Physics
A chap whom I know of was in the 2nd year of his Physics degree at Cambridge. This is, of course, reason enough to hate him.

However, his tenure at Cambridge almost ended in indignity and infamy. Y'see, as is the wont of sponging students, he travelled everywhere by bike. And, as is the way with self-absorbed me-monkeys such as this fellow, he showed roughly the same consideration to other road users and pedestrians as was shown to the inhabitants of Fallujah by American gunships.

One day, whilst hurtling along the path by the banks of the Cam, he failed to notice a wheelchair turning in front of him.

I'll say that again; the idiotic gimboid didn't notice a FUCKING WHEELCHAIR. Whether this was because of the aforementioned lack of consideration, or because of a nazi-like hatred of the disabled, I never found out.

Anyway, the wheelchair was spilled over, and it's occupant was hurled toward the River Cam. As fortune would have it, the bodywronged chap stopped just short of his seemingly inevitable watery grave.

So my friend, after having been harangued by the lady accompanying the chap in the wheelchair, went to help him back into his chariot.

As he said later, "It's not every day that you come face to face with Dr Stephen Hawking mere moments after nearly causing his death..."
(Light, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 14:00, Reply)