I was shouted at by the greatest man on earth.
I went to Whipsnade animal park for my birthday this year. I'm 27 but I still find trained sea lions and owls to be the pinnacle of entertainment, so I was very excited. My partner was driving me round the perimeter, dodging coypu and tiny deer when I saw the elephants wandering with their keepers in a little wooded patch of land. 'Look! Pachyderms!' I squealed as we slowed down to pull over, but then something else caught my eye. An old man with an impressive white mop of hair was sitting in a canvas chair beside a particularly large elephant, they were surrounded by people and wires and cameras and those fluffy things on sticks. Could it really be? Was my lifelong hero here in Bedfordshire just for my birthday?

Well, yes and no, it WAS my lifelong hero, Sir David Attenborough but he was not here for my birthday. Still, best unintentional birthday present ever. We gathered by the fence and watched him record some wonderful facts about elephant feet for the cameras as a small crowd gathered around. Unfortunately, this small crowd kept doing things like sniffing loudly and slamming car doors while they were trying to record, so there was a lot of re-recording of takes and Sir D and his team were starting to get a bit irate. It all came to a head around take 7 of a short fact about elephant toes when the zoo worker directly behind us, who was bunking off to watch the spectacle, interrupted with a loud 'BLEEEEEEP' from his radio. He slunk off behind a car as Sir D spun around, fixed us with a furious stare and shouted 'OH FOR GOD'S SAKE' with some considerable passion. I walked off to sulk with the Rhinoceroses, muttering about injustices, but I will forever treasure the day that Sir David Attenborough looked at me AND spoke to me because it makes me special and famous by association.
(lumpytuna, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 15:06, 6 replies)

whipsnade is shit, and there is no god other than johnny morris.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 15:26, closed)

johnny morris never made me special though.

(lumpytuna, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 15:39, closed)

i bet jonathon king made you special too.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 15:40, closed)

I never came across him
and even if I did, I don't think he'd get that much out of it. I only have lady-bits.
(lumpytuna, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 15:47, closed)

spare me your life story.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 15:55, closed)

You've already read
all the best bits anyway.
(lumpytuna, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 15:56, closed)