Bear with me....
I talking my sleep: I find this out because in the morning someone usually points it out, and asks what the hell I was on about.

Most of ramblings that people hear appear to be Me trying to explain something blindingly simple to a person who simply fails to grasp the stunningly obvious point. Sometimes I get frustrated enough to raise my voice - waking the one next to me - who then tries to understand what I'm whittering about, and compounds the problem by asking silly questions..

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This story has nothing to do with that: This is about one of the more rare occasions where I sit bolt upright, make a daft statement and lie down again: Fast alseep and blissfully unaware of my outbursts.

While my Then GF and I were visiting my parents and my brother, the three "lads" in the family go to do some "Man" shopping. Me, Brother and Dad go out to get stuff with which to Attack my brother's garden. It was massively overgrown (he an his wife had just bought it) and we were aiming to fell 2 trees and use the resultant wood as fire-wood.

The mission was to get a decent chainsaw... Brother and I homed in on the tasty looking toys, while dad potterd off muttering something about a nice "surprise"

We spent much time finding a good machine, toddled to the checkout, parted with entirely too much money, and surmised that Dad had already left, or would do soon. either way we'd meet him by the car.

On the way through the carpark, I took the oppertunity to tell Big Bro the wierd thing that I'd said the night before.
I'm an absloute Atheist, so both my brother and I found it amusing that I'd sat up in bed, and woken the Then MsHumpty by saying clearly, carefully and loudly: "I know what the lord wants us to do Dad. He wants us to kill them. He wants us to kill them all."

Pondering the meaning and cause of this utterance, we walked towards our car and past a small group of traffic wardens - one of whom was putting a parking ticket on a car.

"Bastards" Said my brother.. "You were probably dreaming about Traffic wardens" and then under his breath he said "Maybe it's them that God wants us to kill" We giggled for a fraction of a second, then noticed our dad cheerily stood next to his car holding out the "surprises" that he'd just bought: A large "Splitting Axe" and a Broad-bladed Felling Axe.

"Here you go lads.. If you're going to enjoy doing the job properly, You'll be wanting to use these"
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( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:32, Reply)