Coffee
No, sorry. Nescafe may be a delightful drink to you, but coffee it ain't. Coffee involves roasted coffee beans (ground, or it'll take for ever to get the coffee-ness out) and hot water, just below boiling point.

Fair enough about the bollocky names given it in high street chains, though[1]. All it is is coffee, in varying sizes of base product and with varying additive quantities. Better to start concentrated for a base product, cos diluting's a lot easier than adding strength, so works in more cases.

The only point to it is to translate between how you like it, and the depraved brains of the monkey behind the counter. And then you can order the same thing time and time again, and get coffee the way you want it, in a fairly concise way.

And you're right on Sprouts too - Satan in vegetable form, clearly only liked by those who lived through rationing.

[1] Exception for actual names as used in Italy ie:
a) Espresso - the base product
b) Macchiato - base product plus a wee drop of milk
c) Cappucino - base product plus quite a lot of milk
d) Latte - Hot milk with enough base product added to make it coffee flavoured
(MartinB9999, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 17:12, Reply)