A lot of foods puzzle me.
Oysters-look like phlegm.
Kippers- Stink out your entire house and by the time you've picked all the bones out you're lft with cold, fishy-tasting rubber.
Posh coffee - Cappuccino and mochachino and expresso and all that shite. Bollocks to that. Stick some Nescafe in the biggest mug you have, drop in a couple of spoons of sugar and we're sorted. I'll use the money I've just saved on a Belgian bun and a paper.
Sprouts - Evil
Faggots - How do you make lovely, tasty meat into something that disgusting?
Lettuce. Lettuce is not food. Lettuce is what you put on food to soak up the chilli sauce.
Liver - My parents tried to make me eat this shit. Thanks a fucking bunch. I thought you loved me?
Jellied eels. Proof that Cockneys are clearly very stupid
(Big D, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 9:01, 4 replies)

With you on the coffee one - have a click
When I want a coffee, it's usually because I need a quick, hot drink. I don't want a skinny half-caff froccamochacrapaccino that takes 10 minutes, fifty grand's worth of machinery and a load of unnecessary theatrics to make. Instant, 2 sugars and some cow juice will be just fine, thanks.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Sun 18 Oct 2009, 13:52, closed)

Fine when you want a quick hot (sweet) drink
... but not when you want *coffee*.

People used to hand-grind beans for each cup, y'know. Takes time (although the machinery is unnecessary - stove top espresso thingies are wonderfully low-tech)
(MartinB9999, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 17:15, closed)

Puzzle you?
Oysters are for eating not staring at! Seafood is named seafood coz you can EAT it. Also a renowned aphrodisiac.
Kippers - rather than frying or grilling, poach in milk - no smell whatsoever. Pick the backbone out before cooking. Use a fork tine at the head end and lift, all the bones come out. Easy.
Posh Coffee, from your naming convention you were brought up on a farm. Nescafe is freeze dried COFFEE with additives and flavours.It's like saying budweiser is as good as Old Peculiar coz they're both beers.
Sprouts are bitter unless they've experienced a hard frost so don't buy in summer. Easy. Sprouts gathered in early Spring are sweet and wholesome.
Faggots aren't made from beef jeez. They are similar to delicacies like haggis, faggots are made with pig's heart, liver and fatty belly meat or bacon minced together.
Lettuce is a leafy vegetable that is regarded as an aphrodisiac in many cultures, as it's a leaf it wouldn't be able to soak up anything including chilli sauce
Liver is an extremely good source of iron and vitamins and when cooked correctly (not just thrown into a frying pan) is similar to venison or other game meats. The liver should never be cooked until it's hard but rather should be served while still pink on the inside.
Jellied Eels, were a cheap, nutritious and readily available food source for the people of London and without which many people would have starved to death. Maybe even your great-great grandparents.

Sounds as if you have never educated your tastebuds and probably exist on kebabs, mackers, pizza and KFC.
(Jimmyinnz was sprung at work on b3ta on, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 0:30, closed)

Coffee
No, sorry. Nescafe may be a delightful drink to you, but coffee it ain't. Coffee involves roasted coffee beans (ground, or it'll take for ever to get the coffee-ness out) and hot water, just below boiling point.

Fair enough about the bollocky names given it in high street chains, though[1]. All it is is coffee, in varying sizes of base product and with varying additive quantities. Better to start concentrated for a base product, cos diluting's a lot easier than adding strength, so works in more cases.

The only point to it is to translate between how you like it, and the depraved brains of the monkey behind the counter. And then you can order the same thing time and time again, and get coffee the way you want it, in a fairly concise way.

And you're right on Sprouts too - Satan in vegetable form, clearly only liked by those who lived through rationing.

[1] Exception for actual names as used in Italy ie:
a) Espresso - the base product
b) Macchiato - base product plus a wee drop of milk
c) Cappucino - base product plus quite a lot of milk
d) Latte - Hot milk with enough base product added to make it coffee flavoured
(MartinB9999, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 17:12, closed)