Dancing.
Another thing that curtails my success with the ladies.

I fucking hate dancing. Hate it to the extent that I'd rather offend an attractive lady by stubbornly refusing to get up than make an arse of myself careering around the floor with her.

I don't dance. Ever.

Apart from the slow, holdy-on-to-someone dances, obviously.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 16:20, 12 replies)

And then there's the crippling undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder...

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 16:23, closed)

You mean
there might be an actual medical condition I can quote to get them to stop trying to drag me to the floor?
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 16:35, closed)

but any woman will tell you
good an the dancefloor

good in the sack

which maybe why you're struggling with the chicks
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 16:29, closed)

That's true
but they also say "funny gets the fanny". What they forgot to mention was the words "for their mates" at the end.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 16:38, closed)

I'm similarly dancing-phobic
At least to the extent where you're required to follow a given series of steps or at least look like you know what you're doing. Thrashing around on the dancefloor with no particular rhyme or reason, on the other hand, is quite liberating, although the way I do it it's unlikely to result in any copping off, since any girl who gets close enough to check out my style is liable to get a wayward foot and/or hand in the jubblies.

The "funny gets the fanny" approach is still my tried and tested favourite. As the French put it, making a woman laugh is halfway towards getting her into bed.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 16:52, closed)

That's my approach exactly.
I don't mind the slow dances at all, I quite like them, and I can be found occasionally in a rock club wildly throwing my head back and forward and stamping my feet, but any attempt at actual co-ordinated movement leaves me clattering around like I'm made out of slinkys.

The funny thing is the way forward, I agree.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 16:59, closed)

got to disagree
dancing is fucking brilliant fun. but not in a 'i'm dancing to get a bird' sort of way, more trying to keep up with the music, eyes closed, twitching like a scarecrow in a tornado, type of thing.

I simply can't and won't 'dance' to regular music, or at ceilidhs or at weddings or any other shitfest where the old 'youth club shuffle' is employed. personally i prefer the bpm's to be as high as I am. music that is too predictable is also out, give me a slab of Venetian Snares and his epileptic waveforms over a flat 4/4 on the floor any day. the beauty of this spastic soundtrack is that no matter what you do, no matter what shapes you throw or what kind of a tit you may look, it will always look as if it is somehow representative of the music that is playing.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 16:58, closed)

ceilidhs don't count as dancing
1) because I can do it, and
2) all you need to be able to do is keep time and follow instructions. piece of piss. most people can't manage though.

if you get the opportunity watch a drunken ceilidh from a high vantage point. Absolutely hilarious.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 17:06, closed)

I wish I could do that.
I just feel like a massive tit whenever I try :P
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 17:14, closed)

sounds like a result in the end then

( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 18:53, closed)

I may change my mind about dancing now, actually.
It always seems to end in feeling a tit in some way.

*Practices*
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 19:21, closed)

I was at a few evening dance sessions as part of movie extra auditions at the start of August, I guess they were checking that people could move about in a tight space without falling over. And to be honest, I'd normally resist this sort of thing but it went really well - it's not all that dressed up come dancing pish.
(Benzyl, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 19:07, closed)