My Nannas
I have two nan's (well, one we call "Grandma", one "nan"). They are opposite ends of the spectrum.

Posh nan has an incredibly posh name: Audrey Smyth-Henderson (not actually name to protect the guilty, but very similar).

Scruffy nan (as we call her) has an incredibly scruff name: Doris Smith.

Posh nan never swears. Scruffy nan swears enough to make a sailor blush. Posh nan bakes cakes and homemade pies, etc. Scruffy nan goes down t' chippy.

An anecdote about scruffy nan. Once, at Bingo (where else?) an old codger tried to "get down me pants". What did she tell him? She told him to "shove it up his arse and make a teapot handle with it". She then told everyone she knew about it, and she once showed a policeman her arse.

Yep. I have some very mixed genes and it's no wonder my parents are divorced.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:22, 2 replies)

"Shove it up your arse and make a teapot handle with it"
is officially an awesome phrase and I sincerely hope someone makes unwanted advances soon so that I can use it.

Yay for your scruffy nan!

Hmm... In that context, 'scruffy nan' sounds like a euphemism for female genitalia (especially if it was spelt as in 'naan bread'). Or I could just be a pervert.

Yay anyway!
(moglin shall make you writhe in her cage of torment on, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 12:58, closed)

oh no-sers
I'm still waiting to get that phrase in at some point. Not because I'm a minger or anything, but because I never remember to do it!

As for "scruffy nan" - Now we'll have to change our name for her! I can never look at her again and think that she's a big walking fadge or something. Similarly we could call her "Dirty Grandma" but now they all sound like genital-euphemisms :S

Doh! Damn you! :D
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:25, closed)