This reminds me (sadly)
I took my mate Ian to Frank Black and the Catholics, Live at Liquid Rooms, Edinburgh.

I purchased a T-shirt from the vendour early on in the gig, and rather than hold the T-shirt in-hand all gig, I thought I'd nip to the bathroom, and get changed there. (Why I was too scared to strip off in public, I don't know).

Anyhoo, I went to the gents and opened the (only) cubicle there to be confronted by a gigantic mess of liquid-gel brown carnage hell. It was one of these toilets built into a unit, like a chest of drawers with a hole in it for shitting in. Not the best description I know...

But some bastard decided to shit all over it and smear it everywhere. I was almost sick in my mouth and escaped back to the dancefloor.

When I went to warn my friend Ian, he confessed that in the process of emptying his bowels, he was too scared to put his arse-cheeks ON the bowl - because 'people are disgusting and unhygienic'. And promptly unleashed at least 10 kilograms of molten brown plasma in at least seventeen directions.

It was him. My guest. I'm sorry Liquid Rooms and fans of Frank Black....
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 16:48, 2 replies)

lovely descriptions
:-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 17:54, closed)

"unleashed at least 10 kilograms of molten brown plasma in at least seventeen directions"
Love it
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 3:17, closed)