A pregnant pause and a parking ticket
Picture it if you will it is a snowy February 28 2005, the roads are grim and gridlocked and my wife has just gone into labour. The ambulance cannot get to us so I squeeze the water breaking other half into the car and make our way to the hospital at the pace of a drowsy snail. I arrive at about 9 am and manage to find a parking space in the hospital reserved car park and load it up with pay cards to last for a couple of hours figuring I can pop out and update once she is settled in. Luckily I can do this and bung on a further six hours of pay cards. As the snow falls and the hours pass suddenly the baby is getting caught up in the cord and fouling it's ovarian Bastille so it's straight off to theatre for c-section mania.

When I finally emerge from holding my newborn child into the chill air sometime around 9 at night after being kicked out by the nursing staff I am knackered yet thrilled with the joys of fatherhood and guess what, yup a parking ticket for £80!

I ring to explain, "Sorry sir it must be in writing if you want to appeal" Fucksocks! I dutifully write a letter, explaining that clearly I couldn't really get back to the car ( as the maternity ward were willing to confirm) and that if I had been fare-dodging I wouldn't have bothered putting any cards on and that in the snow every other bugger was abandoning their cars on the side of the road. Would they let me off, would they arse. So I sent them a cheque payable to "hitler and his parking cronies" and explained that I could finally understand why traffic wardens were so reviled and copied my letter to the local paper. A response arrived three days later thusly:

"Dear Number5,

We have reviewed your case and are willing to accept your explanation and have now cancelled the ticket."

They
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 18:52, 4 replies)

They what?
No, seriously, this is a clicky story -- *clicks* but I was waiting for a killer punch line at the end that never came....
(The 2-Belo OH SHI--[Sound of impact][End of recording], Fri 3 Sep 2010, 8:34, closed)

Sorry for that
Wanky iPad typing trauma and poor proof reading skills combine to maximum effect!


They didn't cash the cheque , which I considered odd 'cause I sure it was the right payee.

As a bonus for fucking the first post up please accept this also true story along the same lines : I did once get off another ticket after I pointed out that they moved the Residents parking zone boundary after I had parked my car and before I picked it up the following morning! They didn't argue over that one.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Fri 3 Sep 2010, 18:01, closed)

Rant...
They are not bloody maternataxis!
( Alex Save a Tree, Eat a Beaver!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 0:16, closed)

?
Eh, I presume you mean the ambulance? I wouldn't expect them to come out when I could reasonably drive but she was getting unusual pains and the hospital suggested it might be better to collect her before realising they wouldn't make it. Anyway I wasn't complaining about the ambulance, that was just some background.

The problem was an over officious traffic warden/traffic office.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Tue 7 Sep 2010, 7:27, closed)