I complained to me wife earlier....
Getting me 3 year old daughter ready to transport up to her nans. The wife had to re-dress her into some suitable clothes and had her perched across both the wife's knees. She went to change her knickers and noticed that there was a small spot on her bum.

"Eww, look at that Jeccius" says her...then glances at her starfish and says "Oh she looks a bit red down there..."

And then she did it. The moment which I will complain about to her for the rest of my life. She pinched her fingers down by her arsehole....and mini-goatsee'd her.

It was only for a micro-second, but that was all it took to destroy my daughter's innocence and make me request as much mind-bleach as I could possibly obtain.

When I complained to the wife, she will only answer "What the fuck's a goatsee?". She doesn't know the damage she's done.

*cries*
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 15:48, 10 replies)

Hey, I'm accommodating,
but there are limits old bean.

(Having to teach my 5yo how to wipe properly creates much the same situation:()
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 16:08, closed)

If/when I have children, I'll be in fear of moments like that.
Bath times too, how exactly does one wash one's child's genitals? I really hope I don't come across as being "dodgy" but that kind of thing does worry me a little.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 16:13, closed)

It's odd,
I'd worry about having to wash a girl, yet my friend with two girls is terrified of washing boys! Guess it's what you get used to. Having kids means you will be in close proximity to shit at least once a day.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 16:16, closed)

ONCE a day?
Lucky you.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Sat 4 Sep 2010, 16:52, closed)

Ha!
And I'm dreadful at changing nappies!
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 16:58, closed)

I've got a story involving that
not quite suitable for this QOTW...involves "teh turd"
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 17:05, closed)

Just go for it
Grit your teeth and pray for no winnets. No one else is going to do it.
(rogerzilla, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 19:47, closed)

Hehehe
There's a brilliant site completely dedication the the irationality of one man's girlfriend:

www.thingsmygirlfriendandihavearguedabout.com
( riverghost servicing your mum since, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 16:57, closed)

Read it years ago - and bought the book!
Excellently funny, plus (if it's still there), there's a the bonus of a whole tirade against the thieving Daily Mail, when they nicked it off of him, changed the names, and published it in their Sunday supplement.
(dchurch bah, Sun 5 Sep 2010, 7:38, closed)

Thieving cnuts
Some more details on the Daily Mail thievery here and copies of both here.
( eXOBeX, Sun 5 Sep 2010, 14:28, closed)