I don't hate dogs;
I just don't see the point of them. Unless you're blind, of course.

Two friends of mine have a dog that very nearly ruined their wedding day. On the morning of the big event it was walking in the alleyway next to their house and spotted a large, round, white thing. Coming to the immediate conclusion that this was its bouncy ball, it bit into it with full doggy enthusiasm, to discover that it was in fact a large rock. Yes, the species routinely used by police and explosives experts to detect minute traces of scent with their incredible sense of smell apparently don't bother checking whether a given object smells like a bouncy ball or like a big fuck-off stone. One broken tooth, one emergency trip to the vet's, one certificate drawn up by the vet to attest that the animal was still pedigree for breeding purposes even though it was missing a tooth, and plenty o' stress for the bride and groom.

Plus, dogs are the only animals I've ever encountered that will take no evasive action whatsoever if you bear down on them on your bike/rollerblades/running shoes; in fact they seem to make every effort to run right into your path.

Thus, I can't bring myself to love dogs, because they're thick as pigshit.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 21:10, Reply)