Godlike Status?
.
So you want to know what it's like to be me?

You poor, deluded fuckers.

You wouldn't want to be me. Honestly. I've had some good times, fuck, some GREAT times. But you still wouldn't want to be like me.

You want to know why? Because I also have a dark side. I call it (nods to Churchill..) My Black Dog.

Yes, my friends, I suffer from depression.

I've been in loony-bins. I've been in places where Dante would throw up before he described them. I've been so fucked up I really don't know how I made it through. But I did.

I've been rich (almost a million quid in the bank), I've been poor (living on noodles and sweetcorn after having aforesaid cash in the bank.)

I left almost the biggest house in the village I lived in and moved into a rented flat carrying my life in two bin-bags. I looked at them, the only things I owned at that point, and thought:

"Is that it? Is this my life? 2 fucking bin bags?"

This was 4 years ago.

I've been so ill (depression) that I was pretty much paralysed. It's hit me several times over the years that, now, I count every day without it as a gift.

So, when I write, I try to tell the funny shit that's happened to me. Hell, it's happened to everyone. The amusing, the interesting the good the bad and the ugly. For me it's catharsis. A defence against The Black Dog.

But I can't help but like my brothers tag for Psychiatric Hospitals.

"Napoleon Factories"

So, me "godlike status..." Do me a fucking favour...

So if anyone on B3ta thought I had a great life... You've been well and truly conned.

Cheers

P.S . I haven't went Tonto for a few years. Mainly down to finding a drug that works for me and, the love of a good woman.



P.S. - You want to hear some tales from a loony-bin? They'll fry your soul.. Or make you cry.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 15:48, 12 replies)

...
hell dude, all the above could be made up too (I don't think it is)

but at least you are articulate!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 15:50, closed)

Hey Legless
You have told a lot of your life through the stories and they are appreciated by me and others as many of weeks best with your name on show attest to, the black dog is bastard but Illegitimi non carborundum mate.
( Trollman, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 15:56, closed)

Yes, illigitamate carbonara all round
glad you're doing ok now Legless.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 16:06, closed)

As Irish garage band Therapy? once sang:
"Happy people have no stories."
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 16:09, closed)

Happy People Have No Stories
.
So fucking true...
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 16:16, closed)

it is true
I count myself lucky to be have been pretty happy for my meagre 26 years, and that explains why my only front page story is about getting revenge on a girl who turned into a lesbian.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 16:19, closed)

But do you really
have no legs?
(jmaxi returned again on, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 16:51, closed)

Jmaxi,Jmaxi,Jmaxi
Yes, I have legs.

And, now, I'm using them to get close to you.

But you probably won't like it. What, with the blood and all.


See you soon
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 17:02, closed)

We love you Legless
From a lurker.
(F1Monkey, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 17:46, closed)

Yah.
The same doggy follows me from time to time, and has been merciless lately to the Lunatic Artist. I'm right there with you, mate.

But for all of that, we do get some pretty fucking great stories to tell, don't we? I guess I'd rather have the chaos in my life than be bored to death...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 18 Oct 2007, 19:58, closed)

we love you legless
i'm off work with depression and lurk on b3ta lots. i love your stories, keep em coming and im glad you're happy now!
(hippyjunkiescum, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 18:32, closed)

Nice to see...
That you're still maintaining a healthy attitude to the Black Dog.

Been there myself, it's no fun. As has Tourettes, as you know.

Our love to you and Mrs Legless. Hopefully, one day, we'll get to meet her.

BTW, I'm getting really fucked off with some people on here that haven't got 2 stories to rub together doubting your credibility... cunts.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Oct 2007, 23:57, closed)