ConnedswiftyisNOTevil writes, "I have recently become obsessed with the BBC Three show 'The Real Hustle' - personally, I think of it as a 'How To' show for aspiring con artists."
Have you carried out a successful con? Perhaps you hustled a few quid off a stranger, or defrauded a multi-national company. Or have you been taken for the wide-eyed, naive rube that you are?
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chthonic, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 13:02)
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Little old sofa ladyNot quite sure if this counts, but in Brighton I advertised a double mattress in the local paper, cheap cos i was getting a new one.
The phone rang and a frail voice said "hello? I'm ringing about the mattress. I'm afraid I don't have £20 but if nobody else is interested..."
I felt guilty for even trying to charge money so I said "no problem you can have it for free. when do you want to collect it?"
"Well I don't have a car love, I'm 92, but if you could find any way of delivering it I would be so, so grateful. My bed is so hard and it hurts my hips.."
I looked up where she lived and it was a few streets away. Fuck it, at least I'd get into heaven. (not the nightclub, the afterlife).
"OK!" I said. "I'll try and bring it round in the next hour or two".
I hoiked it onto my back and tried to carry it, but it was so heavy and kept bending in half. I kept going though, stopping every few metres to wipe the sweat from my brow.
But then it started to piss down with rain so I conceded defeat, and decided to try again later when the rain had stopped.
Exactly an hour later the phone rang. I picked it up and an even, old lady voice said "Where the FUCK is my mattress".
In the background i could hear "Mum, I really don't think.."
But she said again, louder. "Where the FUCK is my mattress you fucking...little.... SHIT you bring it here to me right now".
I hung up and left the mattress in the street for the council to collect, and since then I never lift a finger for another soul, so its a happy ending.
Apologies for length of my mattress.
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browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 11:42,
4 replies)
You knew where she lived right?Couldnt you have gone round there and done away with her with a claw-hammer?
(, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 11:51, closed)
sounds like my mumbut my mum is so hardcore she'd probably carry the mattress and you..
(, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 12:02, closed)
BluffboyDont shout for SA to win the rugger - I fancy they will anyway, save your energy for the drinking afterwards.
(, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 12:07, closed)
You berkYou probably missed out on some hot loving there. Maybe even a mother/daughter three-way.
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Beve The Spaniard broke off his horse's head, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 13:09,
closed)
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