Control FreaksPeej writes, "My mate Tony's dad used to weigh the breakfast cereal in the morning to make sure everybody got an equal amount and the pack provided the exact amount of servings advertised on the packet. I learned from this that the recommended serving size on a cereal packet isn't enough to feed a sparrow."
Sound familiar? Tell us more.
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chthonic, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 13:57)
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I recall a long holiday drive to Salt Lake City, and backControl Freak was driving; I was his passenger. He wasn't adventurous or daring: quite the opposite. He grew up in Chicago and learned early his urban defenses: keep the windows rolled up, the doors locked, don't talk to anyone, and, oh yeah, control of the radio is not for you. I kept pointing out the Mormons of Utah are the least menacing, most pleasant, most inoffensive people the Earth has to offer, but he wouldn't be gulled into complacency. So off we drove hundreds of paranoid miles across the magnificent empty plateaus of southern Utah, glaring suspiciously at the few, friendly, distant people we saw, until we came to the Great Salt Lake. We stared at the inland sea for a few minutes, then returned.
At the trip's end I had had enough. So, I punched him. He bounced off a bookcase, spun into me, and through no effort of his own ended up sitting on me. My friends were aghast at the inappropriateness of it all.
Strangely enough, the stress and sleeplessness of that trip, coupled with a particularly beautiful sight among the rock arches of southern Utah, provided the only genuinely religious epiphany I've ever had in my life. But you couldn't pay me to repeat the trip.
(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 15:10, 3 replies)
Having married an Ex-Morm I get yr drift, I am collecting religions like the catholics catch the ring piece.(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 17:50, closed)
Aye, MormonsUntil they ask to marry your 12 year old daughter.
(, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 23:14, closed)
...least menacing, most pleasant, most inoffensive people the Earth has to offer...Only State in the USA where I've actually been threatened with a gun (well by non-law enforcement officials anyway).
Why was I threatened by said handgun I hear you ask?
Because I had the temerity to ask for a refund from his shabby little motel, when he locked up & left me with no way of obtaining a key to the room I'd paid for!
Utah Cunts
(, Tue 28 Oct 2014, 20:51, closed)
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