A few years ago my band were playing a gig at The Star Inn
It had all been organised online and I had yet to meet the organiser, a guy called Greg. We got all our gear in, ordered some drinks and sat round the table chatting away. After a while a guy walks in and smiles over in our direction.

"Alright Mate!" I shout, "Are you Greg?"

Everyone at the table goes deathly quiet and looks first at me then at the guy.

"No" comes the reply, "I'm Kate"
( Peej, Thu 12 May 2011, 14:28, 7 replies)

Reply: "Hii Kate! Have you seen my glasses anywhere?"

(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 12 May 2011, 14:30, closed)

Or "Funny name for a bloke,"

( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 12 May 2011, 14:32, closed)

Hahahahahahahaha

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:30, closed)

^winner

(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:39, closed)

Or "Is that short for Bob?" in your finest Rowan Atkinson impersonation.

( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 12 May 2011, 14:33, closed)

Pfft, yes!

(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:38, closed)

I once called a tranny "sir".
Many years ago (back when I still had a full head of hair) I worked in a bookshop. One day a fairly stout gentleman sporting some rather inexpertly-applied make-up walked up to the counter and asked, in a rather gruff voice, to speak to the manager.

Without pausing to think about what I was saying, I replied, "Of course, sir, I'll just call him for you."

"Madam, actually," he replied, as he turned sideways and flattened his t-shirt against his belly to emphasise the silhouette of his rather impressive - and recently installed - set of hooters.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Fri 13 May 2011, 1:12, closed)