The Cousin
My brother works at fairs selling old stuff on a regular basis and a few years back was in the midst of a large busy event, when he felt a tap on his shoulder.
He turns round to see a cousin of ours, one that he hadn’t seen for quite a few years due to her moving abroad. (That and we didn’t make much of an effort after she wouldn’t invite our lovely old Nanna to her wedding. The old dear hadn’t seen a dentist for 70 years and had a ‘mouthful of burnt chips’. She thought it would be embarrassing for her to be seen at her posh do)

It seemed she was now back in the UK with her husband.
Completely shocked at the sight of the now very grown up long lost cousin, he threw his arms around her and declared how excellent it was to see her. She quickly introduced her hubby and it was smiles all round.

Brother then, without thinking, utters the words…’You look amazing! Oh my god! When are you due?’
‘I’m not pregnant. Anyway, nice to have seen you’
Last we heard of her.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 12 May 2011, 20:11, 3 replies)

Haha, I'm sure a few people will have done this.
Bet your Nanna's breath can strip paint...
(sarcastic fringehead feet of clay, buns of steel, head of lettuce, Thu 12 May 2011, 20:38, closed)

It didn't!
She is long gone now. How those 'teeth' stayed in her head I will never know! Mind you a childhood experience at the dentist in the 1910's was probably horrific.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 12 May 2011, 22:22, closed)

Never ever
ask when a woman is due. Even if she's leafing through a book of baby names having just yelled "my waters have just broken" it is always best to play it safe.
( SteamedCleaner, Fri 13 May 2011, 0:39, closed)