It's all about timing
I worked in a camera shop until the late-1980s recession came along and the bloke who owned it had to make me redundant or lose his business.

Fast forward many years and I'd remained friends with the guy and his wife, popping into their shop for a chat whenever I was passing.

It was my habit to start with a joke so, on this particular day, I waltzed into the shop and promptly told the following:

A little old man walked into the office of his local newspaper and asked the price of classified announcements.
"£10 per word," the assistant tells him.
The old man then takes an ad form and goes off to fill it in.
Returning to the desk, he hands over £30 and the form, on which is written "Doris is dead."
"Is this all you want to say?" asked the assistant.
"It's all I can afford," he replied.
"Wait here," said the assistant and disappeared into the back of the office. She returned a few minutes later and said, "I've spoken to the advertising manager and he's agreed that you can have double the number of words for the same amount."
She handed the man a new ad form and he thanked her profusely.
Shortly thereafter, he returned and handed over the completed form, which now read "Doris is dead. Metro for sale."

I stepped back to drink in the applause of my audience, and Sylvia said, "My mum died last weekend."

Cue tumbleweed.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Thu 12 May 2011, 21:06, 4 replies)

She's a Humourless twat.
(Bababoon, Thu 12 May 2011, 21:31, closed)

Beakering humourless twat, I think you'll find.

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Thu 12 May 2011, 21:53, closed)

response
"Do you know anyone who wants to buy a used car?"
(Simian Typewriter Supplies Pty. Ltd. is house hunting in the neighborhood of infinity, Thu 12 May 2011, 22:32, closed)

I think we have all done that
"Hi _____ how is ___? I heard that he/ she has not been well" ( Insert / delete appropriate words/ names )
"Er, died last Tuesday" (Then they start sobbing )Been there done that.
(Mackeson_drinker, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:23, closed)