I wish it had been me , but my brother told me this one.
He was out on the ching and boozes when he spotted a large group of ladies enter the bar. He was straight over there, and discovered it was a hen party, so he bought the hen a bottle of champagne, and set about separating his chosen target from her friends. Not too difficult a task after the champagne.

As an aside, that's a favourite trick of his. I've been in a few clubs with him when he's said,'Champers never fails' and bought a bottle, and sure enough five minutes later a couple of girls have joined us.

Anyway, back to the tale. So, he's on the dance floor with this girl when he drops a massive fart. All our family fart a lot; mine are odourless of course, but his reek of rotten cabbage. The conversation went like this:

-Have you farted?

-No

-Yes you have.

-I haven't.

-You have. It fucking stinks.

-NO I HAVEN'T YOU FUCKING TWAT.

-...

-OK hands up. Bye then.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sun 15 May 2011, 18:26, Reply)