My eldest (10) pulls out some doozies.
"What's that brown stuff you put in milo?"

"Is that your car?" - pointing at another white ute driving up the road whilst we are both sitting. in. my. car...

"What's that white thing you were looking at?" - as we are driving thru suburban wherever. Turned out to be soccer goal-posts but honestly could've been absolutely anything.

"You know when you chop-snap fabric?" - we've even made some hand gestures to be used when saying that 1.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 17 May 2011, 0:53, 30 replies)

Is this a premature entry for next week's "are your children retarded?" question?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:08, closed)

No.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 17 May 2011, 9:30, closed)

Then why are you telling us that your child is retarded?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:56, closed)

I'm not,
I'm describing instances where she has managed to stop conversations with silly things she has said which she clearly hasn't thought about before saying them.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 17 May 2011, 10:04, closed)

Oh OK.
It's just that all the examples you gave sounded like things a slightly slow three year old might utter so I assumed that your child had learning difficulties. My apologies if she's just thick.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:09, closed)

She can be.
Bless her. Mostly A's & B's from school tho & in a class above her age set - thank fuck for the education system eh?
Just doesn't think before opening her gob - I'm sure you can relate.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 17 May 2011, 18:50, closed)

Is Milo
your cat?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:43, closed)

Check the link.
Malty/choc drink made not surprisingly with brown powder.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 17 May 2011, 9:32, closed)

Er,
what?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:09, closed)

That's what we said.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 17 May 2011, 9:32, closed)

Teach me the chop-snap gesture.
I'm worried that there's a martial art that I haven't mastered.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:52, closed)

Do the rock horns with both hands but keep your middle fingers straight.
Then poke your tongue behind your lower lip and try to scratch your shoulder with your chin. You'll get more lethal force if you make a sort of strained mnnnnnmmnnnng! noise while you do it.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 17 May 2011, 15:42, closed)

Chop your hand perpendicularly down into the palm of your other hand
then make as if you were holding a pencil in 2 fists side-by-side (thumbs inwards) then snap the imaginary pencil in half by quickly rotating your wrists outwards 90 deg.
chop/snap - it's better than planking!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 17 May 2011, 18:55, closed)

I've tried both suggestions,
I'm not really sure which I preferred.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:44, closed)

His ten year old has a mental age of about three.
I'm not sure why he's telling us this week but I think we should at least handle it sensitively and not make any inappropriate mongtard comments.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:56, closed)

Here's your $5.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 17 May 2011, 10:00, closed)

That's very kind but I've got plenty of toilet roll.
Thanks.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:09, closed)

I really wouldn't use our money to wipe yer bum.
It's plastic and I imagine would get quite messy. Unless that's your thing in which case - go for it.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 17 May 2011, 19:11, closed)

Subtlety of language really isn't your strong suit, is it?
I suppose that might help explain why your offspring can barely talk at ten years old.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 17 May 2011, 22:55, closed)

How so?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 18 May 2011, 3:26, closed)

Lost me
@ "doozies". Are you a forrin?
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:39, closed)

Antipodean.
Doozy.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 17 May 2011, 9:55, closed)

FFS
I felt my braincells dying reading that
( Frisbee TeaBoy, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:47, closed)

Oh god I read through it again

( Frisbee TeaBoy, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:50, closed)

Fuckin' hell & it only took you 3 min.!

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 17 May 2011, 9:54, closed)

This english thing
isn't really your forte, is it?
( Frisbee TeaBoy, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:57, closed)

Clearly not to your
exacting standards.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 17 May 2011, 10:00, closed)

Hahahahaha
Thats fucking mental
(Rimmer, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:34, closed)

'retarded'/'mental'
You say tomahto...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:18, closed)

10???
fucking hell. i think his/her padded helmet is done up a bit tight.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:40, closed)